Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Jeremy Clarkson - A Lament

(Warning - mild bad language)

Woe is our week
And empty the weekend before us
For there is no Top Gear
Just a period of programming that is void and without form.

O how we rejoiced when we watched the Star in a a Reasonably Priced Car.
Though the star was normally someone we'd never heard of.
Or Ed Sheeran.
Which is much the same.

But now our enjoyment is spoilt by a fracas
And we don't know whether to rhyme that with "car" or "arse".
Since the programme normally features both
Normally one sitting on the seat of the other.
So either would work, in context.

But we shall not weep and lament
And not remain downhearted.
Instead we shall sign the petition
And demand the BBC bring back Clarkson

After all, though we don't know precisely what Jeremy Clarkson has done*
It can't be as bad as what Jihadi John has done. **
And he's still getting on the telly.

* allegedly
** probably


  1. Oh, I thought it was pronounced "fracker". The wrath of Jeremy was so violent that the earth quaked and gas belched forth.

  2. On Radio 3 this morning the presenter summarising the newspaper front pages gave us the real news and then said that all the papers had a photo of a 'bloke with a shopping bag' who'd been suspended by the BBC. Puts it in the right perspective


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