Oh great unelected Ruler of the universe
Whose omnipotence is matched only by Your firm belief in laissez-faire economics - in the theological sense of economics - and whose legal policy appears to be the offer of free pardon to all who accept it, or alternatively a long, sharp fork instead of a short, sharp shock - and who always favours the underdog - even when it's us -
Hear us, the floating voters as we flounder in the waters of Jordan
And wonder which way is the Promised Land.
When we are in the secrecy of a plywood booth, with only You to see the decisions we make in the darkness of our hearts and the bluntness of our pencils - guide us in the right paths.
Let us not vote the way we vote because that's the way we've always voted.
Let us not vote the way we vote because that's how we've been told to vote.
And let us not vote the way we vote because that's the way Dad did - or didn't - vote.
And let us not vote for our own self-interest
or because the party leader had the best hair.
Don't let us vote from fear, or from greed.
Don't let us vote to teach someone a lesson.
Let us weigh the appeals, consider the economics, and vote for justice, mercy, prosperity and liberty - or the best balance between them.
[By the way, for those of us who've voted by post, please disregard the above. If we've got it wrong, then it's all too late.
We don't expect you to turn back time.
You're not Superman.]
And when we have voted, let us not think people who voted another way are stupid
or just plain contrary.
Let us assume that whatever they were up to (and You alone know what some of them were up to) they went through much the same process that we did.
But just with a different answer.
And that's OK. It's complicated.
And the candidates are not conveniently equipped with haloes or horns and pointy tails
that we might readily tell your choice.
After all, Samuel kept getting it wrong, and he was a prophet.
So what chance have we got?
And after the dust has settled
Let's realise that the winners aren't perfect.
Because You know we'll work that out at some point over the next five years.
And, as Your will is always done,
In a free-will, free-Universe, free-form kind of way.
So we'll just have to accept that whoever we put in will need Your help
Even when they don't know it
or ask for it
or get it.
And we will pray that, whoever we get, you're there beside them
As we voyage through this Vale of Tears for another five years.
Just don't let us go through it all again in 3 months.
Twitter might explode if it gets any more snark.