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Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Back to the Future Day

Archdruid: Welcome to a very special service of Pouring-Out of Beakers. Now does everyone know what day it is?

Hnaef: Is it..... [dramatic pause]... Agincourt?

A flight of arrows whistle through the Moot House, pinning Burton Dasset to the wall.

Archdruid: No, not yet

Hnaef: Mae'n ddrwg gen i hogiau, rhaid i chi ddod yn ol dydd Sul.

The tune Cwm Rhonda can be heard, mournfully fading into the distance.

Charlii: It's Trafalgar Day!

The prow of a first-rate ship of the line juts into the Moot House.

Archdruid: Far more important.

Nelson: Kiss me, Hardy!

Hardy: That kiss is gone where none can tell -
 Not even those who felt its spell: It cannot have died; that know we well. 
Somewhere it pursues its flight, 
One of a long procession of sounds 
Travelling aethereal rounds 
Far from earth's bounds In the infinite.

All: You've booked the wrong Thomas Hardy!

Thomas Mastermain Hardy: Avast, ye landlubbers! Set sail for Portsmouth, Mr Loveday!

Archdruid: Suddenly the Moot House seems to be full of the smell of herring. No, it's Back to the Future Day!

All: A day to celebrate the great things we've achieved.

Archdruid: Who needs hoverboards when we have drones that can blow up weddings, at the touch of a button from the other side of the world?

All: Who needs a fax in every room when your work is constantly on your smartphone?

Archdruid: Who needs Biff when you've got Katie Hopkins?

All: Why have self-tying shoelaces when you can melt the ice caps?

Andy McCluskey: The Back to the Future we anticipated has been cancelled.

Marty McFly: Doc, we've gotta get outta here. It makes the 80s look sensible.

Archdruid: Now we have a minute's silence as we remember that most of us saw the original at the the pictures.

Burton: I did think Kate Bush was sweet in the video they showed as a trailer.

Kate Bush: Cloudbustin', Daddy.

Hymn: Power of Love

Archdruid: You fools! That's the "Frankie" version.

Holly Johnson: I'll get me coat...

Final Blessing

Archdruid: Wherever you're from, whenever you wish it could be - it's here and now. It's all you can be sure of. Make the most of it and make it better.

Hymn: The Power of Love

Archdruid: Jennifer Rush! Get out of here!

Jennifer Rush: OK, Eileen. Doc, let's fire up the De Lorean!

1 comment :

  1. Not wanting to be picky, but "...yn ôl ddydd Sul" because the Sunday is used as an adverb there. I'll get my mutated hoverboard.

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