Thursday, 22 October 2015

Volvo Life Paint - Because you can't Trust the People Who Drive our Cars

Volvo cars are engineered for the ultimate in safety for their occupants. Designed to survive the most brutal of Scandinavian weather, they are rugged and resilient in almost any crash.

Given the warmth and security of a Volvo, who could blame the driver if they decided to relax, send a few texts, open a packet of biscuits - maybe hold a cocktail party. Or why not just kick off your shoes and have a little nap?

I know I would. And that's why we invented Volvo Life Paint.  Because glowing in the dark is the ultimate protection when hit by a 2 ton brick driven by someone who's trying to choose a different album on their phone while eating a Big Mac*.

By 2020 we want nobody to be killed or injured by a new Volvo car. Obviously the only way to guarantee this would be to stop making them. And that would be really expensive. Blimey, look at VW. So we thought selling glow-in-the-dark paint would help while we try to think of something better.

Volvo LifePaint. Because you can't trust Volvo drivers.

* Serving suggestion only. Other sandwiches and fast food sellers available.


  1. So it wears off after about a week of "normal use" by which they probably mean a child cycling 2 miles to school and back in the dry. I wonder how long a bottle lasts.

    Nice little earner there but I'll stick to longer-lasting glass-based retroreflectives and a variety of lights.

    But once people get used to this it'll be a spray with some ridiculous component detectable by the car's computer that automagically limits speed or something. And if a cyclist doesn't have one for every brand of car going, she'll be "irresponsible".

    I hope I'm just being cynical here.


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