Archdruid: And so we pray forgiveness for the hardheartedness with which we1 have voted.
All: Knowing we have thrown our country into chaos, we repent of all our sins of thinking it was a good idea to give the ruling classes a good kicking.2
Archdruid: We repent of the arrogance that led us3 to reject Mrs Merkel and all her works.
All: And to teach the French a thing or two.4
Archdruid: And we repent that the old and gray have rejected the wisdom of the young5.
All: And we reject all accusations of racism6.
Archdruid: And so we formally promise that, if by some miracle we get another chance to vote on this, we will show wisdom, charity and courage this time7.
1 Other people
2 At least, we did when we thought Sterling was going to crash and we'd all end up eating stale Pringles to survive. We've cheered up a bit now.
3 Other people
4 Though we're still quite pleased about that.
5 If only they'd looked up from their Xboxes we're sure they would have been very instructive.
6 We hope we still have visas for plumbers.
7 Questions are being asked about the way the petition for another referendum has more than 45,000 votes from Husborne Crawley.
8 We'd do it again. Not only have we upset the Germans, the French and the whole EU infrastructure - we've got rid of Cameron and might do for Corbyn as well. Just a shame about that embarrassment Farage.