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Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Former Archbishop of Canterbury to be Theologian in Residence at McDonald's

I'm pleased to hear that Rowan Williams is to take up a new role as St Mellitus Theologian-in-Residence in McDonalds.

In his new role, the former Archbishop of Canterbury will be sitting in the children's area of fast-food restaurants around the country, and encouraging the patrons to consider such important questions as whether Hamburglar was evil or just a victim of nominative determinism.

The good news is that Lord Williams of Oystermouth has been able to write some of the descriptions of the dishes on display. For instance his description of a Big Mac reads:

"Can we by eating encompass the very quiddity of a Big Mac, comprising as it does a patty of purest British or Irish beef - for in the eating of a Big Mac we indeed break the boundaries of our nutritional liminality, reaching across the troubling political and theological borders and encompassing the Catholic, the Protestant, the Muslim (with respect to appropriate slaughter techniques) but above all not the Hindu interpretations of the constitution of a bread-based meat-enmorphing and gherkin-enlightened sentience, a very consciousness of the unmistakable presence of what is, what can be and what never will be in a very real sense a splash of accurately dispensed tomato relish? Do you want fries with that?"

1 comment :

  1. Its a good idea for Dr Williams to cooperate with our American friends in this way. I can recall arriving in Australia in 1990, and as our Taxi driver drove us to our hotel, he pointed out land marks in Sydney. He pointed out a building as the 'American Embassy' a double take revealed that he was indicating a branch of McDonalds? It was he said, part of the US and Japanese takeover of Australia.

    I note the pre-dominance of American Embassy's across the UK, which appears to point us towards being the 62nd State of the Union. Mr Trump for PM anyone?

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