Monday, 4 April 2022

Liturgy for the Death of June Brown (Dot Cotton / Branning)

Introit: Eastenders Theme Tune

Archdruid: Oh I say.

All: I ain't one ter gossip.

Archdruid: I ain't one ter gossip.

All: Oh I say.

Filling-up of washing machines

Young Keith: 'Ello Ma.

Archdruid: Young Keef! Yer've come back!

Young Keith: I'd only been to Tesco's.

Archdruid: Well, you know me.

All: I ain't one ter gossip.

Stubbing out of fags

There is a time for everything.
A time to live and a time to die.
A time to load washing machines and a time to tumble dry.
A time to call the boss Poppydoppyloss and a time to call the boss Poopydropoliss.
A time to do 30 minute episodes on your own and a time to have a fag.
And a time to have another fag.
And another fag.
A time to enter stage right and a time to fade.
A time for intro music and a time for the doof-doof-doofs.

God: Doof-doof-doof.

1 comment :

  1. As a real Eastender, born in Stepney and raised in East London, I draw your attention to Columbia Row Flower Market in Bethnal Green, where no doubt Real Eastender's, not Actors will today be lining up to buy flowers in memory of June Brown aka Dot Cotton and will than retire to the Brewers Arms to sit in the Covid Safe Flower Garden to raise a glass and have a fag (outdoors is permitted) in her memory.

    ReplyDelete

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