Valentine's Day

This morning the Arrival of the Bouquets, part of our annual Valentine's celebration, will take place at 9am. This will be followed by the Procession of Fluffy Bunnies. The Celebration of Undying Love will be at 11 in the Ballroom, followed by Love-hearts at 12 prior to the  Romantic Lunch.

Personally I'll be celebrating the Feast of SS Cyril and Methodius in the Library with a single malt. And I'm not even going to be celebrating that very much, as Cyril and Methodius were notoriously men as well. Still, at least they weren't some swine who led a girl's heart astray on a Greek island in 1987 and then cleared off leaving a false address, and who later, thanks to the work of a private detective, turned out to be a dentist from Solihull who was married and had four children.

Valentine's Day? You can keep it.

Valentine's Day is Cancelled

Once again I have found it necessary to cancel Valentine's Day.  The issue is that, falling on a Sunday, we need to transfer it.  And since there are no free days to transfer it to, we will simply have to forget it till next year.

So I'm afraid that any chocolates or flowers about the place will be confiscated as we enter the period of Lent early.  This evening's Festival of Flowers and Sherbert will instead be replaced with an hour of Standing in Icy Silence, which will be followed by the Act of Recrimination.

These directives are in no way because I only received one card this morning, and that from Burton Dasset.  If anyone wants to know how I knew an unsigned card was from a train-spotting accountant, I'll let you know what the verse was inside it:

"Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I love being in a train over the Harringworth Viaduct
Only 32% as much as I love you".

I rest my case.