Famous Preacher In Controversy Over "Offshore Tax Arrangement"

When they came to Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma tax went up to Peter and said, “Does your teacher not pay the tax?”  

He said, “Yes.”

And when he came into the house, Jesus spoke to him first, saying, 
“What do you think, Simon? From whom do kings of the earth take toll or tax? From their sons or from others?” 

And when he said, “From others,” Jesus said to him, 

“Then the sons are free. However, not to give offense to them, go to the sea and cast a hook and take the first fish that comes up, and when you open its mouth you will find a shekel. Take that and give it to them for me and for yourself." (Matt 17:24-27)

When Androids Rule the World

In the Robot Apocalypse so many predict, the Androids will rise to rule the world.

Mostly because they'll be able to destroy the Apple-produced robots when they all shut down for 24 hours for the latest iOSx upgrade.

Nietzsche Decides There is No God and Stops Going to Church

Before the service:

Welcomer: Welcome to St Luther's! I'm Hans, who are you?

Nietzsche: Nietzsche.

Welcomer: Bless you.

At the "Introduce yourself to your neighbour" bit:

Gretchen: Hello! I'm Gretchen! I didn't catch your name?

Nietzsche: Nietzsche.

Gretchen: Bless you.

At "Cafe Church:

Barrista: So a latte with an extra shot and cherry syrup. What name shall I put on your cup?

Nietzsche: Nietzsche.

Barrista: Bless you. What name shall I put on the cup?

After the Service:

Minister: So nice to meet you. I hope you enjoyed the service this morning, Herr....?

Nietzsche: Nietzsche.

Minister: Bless you....

The BBC - Balance in All Things

Yes, I've done this before, for other reasons. The BBC are meant to achieve balance in all things. But either deliberately, for effect, or else because their researchers are too stupid, lazy or ill-informed to know anything about their subjects, frequently the "Christian" view on a matter can end up being represented by Christian Voice or The Christian Institute. Both of which could do with indefinite articles in front of their names, at the very least. If not some quote marks.

You achieve balance with two people comfortably in their respective seats on a see-saw. But the BBC seem to prefer people who are metaphorically nailing extra planks on the end of the see-saws and then standing on stilts on the end of the planks. Portraying these bodies as representative of Christians is like arguing that Mario Balotelli is a typical Liverpool player or Jeremy Clarkson is the voice of Toyota Prius owners. It's like.... like.....

---

"And as we discuss the possible repeal of the Hunting Ban, we have somebody who hates all posh people, and a man who likes dissolving live foxes in nitric acid."

"Should we extend the High Speed 2 line to Glasgow? We speak to a Glaswegian who is allergic to trains, and the Chair of  the "Rebuild Hadrian's Wall, a Mile High" Society." 

"What now for the polar bears? We've a man who wants to put the Arctic into a massive refrigerator, and a woman with a large spear and a hungry look." 

"The patent fraudster who claims to have found the tomb of Jesus, and the person who keeps setting fire to his trousers on the grounds he's a heretic. We'll be standing between them with a bucket of water, while they scream abuse at each other."

"EU border controls - we've got Mr Al Baghdadi, who says remove them all. But a woman with a pillow case on her head and an interest in burning crosses isn't so sure."

Do we need to sack everybody at the Highways Agency?
Or is it a message from an alien intelligence? Coming up after the break.

"Could there be life on Saturn's moons? We've got someone who's in telepathic contact with a fish on Tethys, and a fundamentalist who's convinced God has painted the planets on the dome of the sky in luminous paint."

"Women in the Church - should we ban all men? Or see women priests for the evil castration cult they clearly are?"

"Peace in the Middle East - an evangelical from the US says the sooner they're gathered at Megiddo the better. While an experimental scientist with no job, degrees or published papers tells us his plans to float Jerusalem out onto the Dead Sea on a massive swimming float." 

"Nativity Plays - should they be compulsory in every school, or are they the child-brain-washing tools of an evil zombie death cult? We've found people to back both views. And you wouldn't want to meet them in the street."

That last one, by the way, actually happened. Revd Kate Bottley was on the show as well. She talked sense. I don't know whether the BBC had her on again.

Lighting Up St Michaels

To raise money towards the rewiring of the beautiful St Michael's, Camden, a group are walking to every St Michael's in London over 4 days.

As I write, they're halfway between St Michael's Highgate and home base in Camden. Although Burton Dasset's comment was he probably would spend all afternoon in the Flask Inn, before wobbling down Highgate Hill towards St Pancras on his bike.

We ignore him. The church is well worth helping. And St Michael wouldn't look out of place in Helm's Deep. Link's below.

https://lightupstmichaels.wordpress.com/donate/

Extraverts' One-Day Retreat

We've made a change to the One Day Retreat for Extraverts.

The feedback from the last course was that "we didn't get enough chance for getting to know each ofher", so we've added an ice breaker. Each delegate will have the chance, in the initial introductory session, to tell everybody else something about them that they think is interesting, fun or wacky.

In line with this change, we're renaming the course.

It's now called the "Three Day Retreat for Extraverts".

Nom Domittis

Ed, now lettest thou thy servants depart in peace,
according to thy pledge.
For mine eyes have seen thy taxation.
Which thou art prepared
to impose on all income-maximising people;
To be a tax to burden the nations
and the downfall of the London property market.

God in Overalls

"If God comes in overalls, there'll be some sulking faces in Church." - Compo Simmonite, Last of the Summer Wine

That's always been my stereotype of English religion. God on the side of the middle classes. Everybody in their suits (or hipster jeans these days), putting on the Ritz for the King of Kings while the poor stay in bed of a Sunday morning.

What on earth happened?  The religion of prostitutes, slaves and fisherfolk ending up where, if anyone reads the Gospel in anything less than Received Pronunciation, they might as well have read selected works from Aleister Crowley. It's like the difference between Luther's Reformation and the English one was that Henry VIII slipped in a couple of lines about keeping the chavs out.

He didn't, of course. He, and his successors, wanted all the chavs in their places, every Sunday morning. So they could understand their place in God's great plan - ie propping it all up, without breaking any of the commandments. Then when they died, to prove that God loves the poor, they could be buried in some unmarked paupers' graves while the Lord of the Manor, when his extorting days were over, had the ignominy of a table-tomb, family crypt and/or nice inscription on a stone in the wall, according to choice.

So it's no wonder if, once they didn't have to, the Sons and Daughters thought "stuff this for a game of soldiers" on a Sunday morning,  and chose instead to stay in bed nursing hangovers. The whole "blessed are the poor" agenda had been co-opted by the ones who, persuading themselves they were very 'umble, reckoned their social ease and self-confidence would get them through any awkward moments at the interview at the Pearly Gates. And now we're where we are. Where Marx's opiate of the masses has become the post-dinner-party joint of the well heeled holy. Who, goodness knows, will give to the poor. Wish them well, run a food bank. But they're still the moderately well-off.

The Old Yorkshire Gods

When God came, he did arrive in overalls. He didn't line up with the bosses. He didn't tell us to gave the royal coat of arms over the church door, and say that the Great Commandment is not to drop your aitches. And he did give us the view of God that a van driver is worth as much as a stock broker.

Glad I cleared that up. Anyway.  Off to sort out my tax affairs in case the Trots get in. Didn't Our Lord himself say, blessed are those that allow their wealth to trickle down?

That List of Fertility Goddesses that Sound a Bit Like Easter - in Full

Eostre

Ishtar

Ipswich

Astarte

Asherah

East Ham

Esther Rantzen

Exeter

Aasmah Mir

Anwar Sadat

Eskimo Nell

Ezra the Scribe

Axminster

Asda

ASBO

George Galloway

Liturgy of Egg-Throwing

Some of you may be wondering, in the midst of a whole series of posts about general stuff, politics and science, what's happened to the Beaker Folk? Where are their normal jolly japes and frivolity, ludicrous liturgy and post-rational philosophy?

And the answer is, simply, hiding.

They really can't manage Holy Week. The hard decisions, rejection, pain, blood, death and so on. It's not a part of the Beaker self-image. Beaker Folk stand for joy, delight, low-grade liturgical dancing, hippy music and meaningless ceremony.

And the bit they can't cope with most of all is Easter Day. They like to inhabit the land of myth, and the demands of Easter Day to be treated as a historical fact mess with their heads. I try to put it like this to soften the blow. Easter is a myth, but one that is written in historical form. The resurrection of Jesus is written across the new leaves on the trees, the sprouts of bluebells, the rising sun, Isis and Osiris, Woden hanging on a tree to gain wisdom - a thousand fragments of a myth of beauty and wisdom gained through death and resurrection, all gathered up into one myth that happens to have been written, once, in a historical context.

And they look at me and shudder. They like me dragging in the Egyptian stuff and astronomy and Woden and all that - but they really don't trust the historical bit. If one man can be resurrected, they say, that means everybody can. And if that's a real thing in history, then what we do matters. And that's not a good message for a post-critical religion.

And I give up, and let them go home until Easter Monday. They like this afternoon's Liturgy of Egg throwing. As the eggs sail over the Moot House or, for beginners, the Great Trilithon, they represent the sun rising in strength. As they fall gently, they represent the sun returning to rest. And as they smash onto the would-be catchers' faces, they represent the myth of the politician who has a row with a brewery and thereby increases its sales.

They can grasp this. It's mythic, it's natural, and it has no effect on their daily lives. It's just the sort of religion they like.

Sawing off the Branch It's Sitting On

The belief, adopted by many of the Dawkinsite faith, that things are only true if they are proven experimentally has the effect of cutting off a couple of the things that they depend on. One is the multiverse theory in opposition to the spectactular degree of fine tuning our universe shows. The concept of multiverses is currently untestable, may never be testable, and if it is never testable it must be untrue. Even if testable and provable it is no disproof of God's existence. Partly because there is nothing in the concept of God that would say that the Creator is unable to create more - for we clearly have a God for whom creating is a bit of a passion. And the other is that it merely begs the question, why do we have a goldilocks multiverse? It's turtles all the way down, this one.

The other is that the belief in testability being the only source of truth, itself, being untestable, is a self-weakening statement. The Maverick Philosopher does a good job here. What's interesting to me is that it was Bertrand Russell who The M.P. quotes - who is a kind of Dawkins with intelligence, wit and substance. 

Personally I'll stick to my own belief, that if you're in the scientific world it's the empirical method that works. Let's put it this way - even Boko Haram, who believe that Western education is forbidden, use weapons that have been developed using Newton's laws of motion and the results of chemical developments based on Western education and the empirical method. They may be a bunch of murdering gets, but they still know that Western methods work.