Thursday 9 April 2015

The BBC - Balance in All Things

Yes, I've done this before, for other reasons. The BBC are meant to achieve balance in all things. But either deliberately, for effect, or else because their researchers are too stupid, lazy or ill-informed to know anything about their subjects, frequently the "Christian" view on a matter can end up being represented by Christian Voice or The Christian Institute. Both of which could do with indefinite articles in front of their names, at the very least. If not some quote marks.

You achieve balance with two people comfortably in their respective seats on a see-saw. But the BBC seem to prefer people who are metaphorically nailing extra planks on the end of the see-saws and then standing on stilts on the end of the planks. Portraying these bodies as representative of Christians is like arguing that Mario Balotelli is a typical Liverpool player or Jeremy Clarkson is the voice of Toyota Prius owners. It's like.... like.....

"And as we discuss the possible repeal of the Hunting Ban, we have somebody who hates all posh people, and a man who likes dissolving live foxes in nitric acid."
"Should we extend the High Speed 2 line to Glasgow? We speak to a Glaswegian who is allergic to trains, and the Chair of  the "Rebuild Hadrian's Wall, a Mile High" Society." 
"What now for the polar bears? We've a man who wants to put the Arctic into a massive refrigerator, and a woman with a large spear and a hungry look." 
"The patent fraudster who claims to have found the tomb of Jesus, and the person who keeps setting fire to his trousers on the grounds he's a heretic. We'll be standing between them with a bucket of water, while they scream abuse at each other."
"EU border controls - we've got Mr Al Baghdadi, who says remove them all. But a woman with a pillow case on her head and an interest in burning crosses isn't so sure."

Do we need to sack everybody at the Highways Agency?
Or is it a message from an alien intelligence? Coming up after the break.
"Could there be life on Saturn's moons? We've got someone who's in telepathic contact with a fish on Tethys, and a fundamentalist who's convinced God has painted the planets on the dome of the sky in luminous paint."
"Women in the Church - should we ban all men? Or see women priests for the evil castration cult they clearly are?"
"Peace in the Middle East - an evangelical from the US says the sooner they're gathered at Megiddo the better. While an experimental scientist with no job, degrees or published papers tells us his plans to float Jerusalem out onto the Dead Sea on a massive swimming float." 
"Nativity Plays - should they be compulsory in every school, or are they the child-brain-washing tools of an evil zombie death cult? We've found people to back both views. And you wouldn't want to meet them in the street."
That last one, by the way, actually happened. Revd Kate Bottley was on the show as well. She talked sense. I don't know whether the BBC had her on again.

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