Well done to my cousin, Sheena. Based on the exit poll, she won her election last night.
She was standing on a platform of taking Britain out of Europe, nuclear disarmament, legalisation of canine marriage, the introduction of a new armed police force, disestablishment of the Church of England and replacement of the monarchy with a freely-elected Life President.
In her new role as a councillor on Faxton Parish Council in Northants, she will be responsible for the administration of the dog-walking field and the one street light. Still, I suppose even Napoleon had to start somewhere.