Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Fallen Branches on the Family Tree

Neanderthals are an extinct group of humans who lived between about 30,000 and 130,000 years ago. Despite their reputation as bone-headed dummies, Neanderthals were likely as advanced as modern humans in areas such as tool-making, though they were probably less socially adept. (from this article
The whole article suggests to me that Neanderthals would turn up at H Sapiens Sapiens parties, clutching a bag of over-ripe, intoxicating avocados, smiling hopefully, and saying that "I'm a friend of Simian's". Then hanging around, hoping to get lucky when all the more attractive H Saps have paired up.

I have visions of some H Sap Sap lass waking up, clutching her head, squinting over at the other side of the bear skins strewn across the cave floor, and realising to her horror that, in the dim light and after too much fermented yoghurt, she's scored with a Neanderthal. Swearing that he hadn't looked that hairy, or had quite such a big jaw, during that smoochy last dance.

Then, in the 2 minutes before she goes off to find a sabre-tooth tiger to loose in the cave, being treated to his explanations as to why God doesn't exist, and why it will be important for programming languages to support recursion. Sure, we were gonna need those genes later, when the Internet was invented. But what a price it was bought at.

1 comment :

  1. If we all possess Neanderthal genes I wonder why our knuckles are not hairy and don't drag along the ground?

    Mind you, some of the people I've met have displayed elements of these genes, notably in long meetings where their attention span is no longer than the opening sentences of the agenda and their attention wanders to comparing the sizes of busts in the room or wondering when coffee break is due. However, I've mended my ways now I no longer go to meetings.


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