Ambo | South American form of liturgical dance |
Apse | A lapsed asp |
Asperges | Italian variety of asparagus |
Aspergillum | White flower that only blooms when it's raining |
Biretta | Italian squash eaten while riding a Lambretta, and firing a Beretta |
Cassock | A long Ukrainian tunic |
Compline | What you do to something that isn't compled. |
Hassock | A long Ukrainian with a spasm in the diaphragm |
Laetare Sunday | The Sunday when the clocks go forward, and everyone turns up... yeah, OK. |
Laity | Horizontal church people |
Lectern | An electric duck |
Lectionary | Pushy dictionary |
Legilium | A narrow ledge, for perching eagles on |
Misericords | An overweight person's shoelaces |
Narthex | The plastic you make notice boards out of |
Oxford Movement | Down to the bar when you give up on the essay |
Oblation | Blowing up an oval balloon |
Pulpit | A doll's pullover |
Reliquary | Somebody who collects retired vicars |
Rogation Days | The chance to go round in odd-shaped circles |
Spandrel | A breed of small dog, popular with vicars |
Supererogation | Ritual blessing of local senior police officer |
Thesaurus | A terrifying, verbose dinosaur |
Transept | Vicar with a wide nose |
Vestibule | An inflatable lifejacket, in case the font overflows |
Vestry | Where to hang your vest |
Thursday 6 February 2014
The A-Z of Technical Church Terms
Announced by
Archdruid Eileen
There's only one thing sadder than somebody using a technical church term, knowing that there are people in the church who don't know what it means. And that's somebody using a technical church term, thinking everybody knows what it means. Let's see if we can help.
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