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Monday, 2 June 2014

Liturgy For the Nativity of Thomas Hardy (1840)

First Yokel: 'Tis Thomas Hardy's Birthday then.

Second Yokel: Ay. And that 'tis as well.

First Yokel: And a nesh baby, he were.

Second Yokel: That 'a were. And 'a grew up hard a nesh boy-chap, good-now, Neighbour.

First Yokel: You what?

Second Yokel: I said, he was a sickly child.

First Yokel: Well why don't you speak English? Yes, he was.

Second Yokel: And with all his fame, and Order of Merit and all, he's long-dead now.

First Yokel: Aye, as we all shall be.

Second Yokel: Shall us go to the White Horse for a pint of small, and then home - along, neighbour?

First Yokel: Aye, I've not had a drop o' tipple since nammet-tide on the Annunciation.

Second Yokel: Last Thursday? Tha must be a mere shudder of a mortal.

First Yokel: No, since yesterday. Pa'son Thirdly transferred it, on account of he's all Christminster now.

Second Yokel: There's a barrel beyond compare for us, then. Shall us?

First Yokel: Indeed, neighbour. For though too much of a wet may take us to the smoky house of the horned man, yet if we avoid the multiplying eye we may make it upstairs in the end.

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