I would like to thank David Cameron for insisting that I have to be involved in the election leaders' debate or he won't take part.
It is true that Beaker Britain, with tea lights available free on the NHS, Enya played through speakers on every corner, and much-needed investment in the doily industry, would be a happy and prosperous place.
But I feel that combining politics and religion only ever causes trouble. Not that politicians should not be guided by their own and their constituents' consciences - but mandatory Pouring out of Beakers strikes me as an assault on human rights. And the example of Tony Blair - bombing Iraq on spurious grounds and then nipping off to Catholicism once it wasn't expedient to be an Anglican - is ever before me.
So thanks, Dave, but you'll just have to share the debating platform with the Greens, Plaid, Monster Raving Loonies and Wake up Wokingham parties. This Archdruid's not for standing.