Sunday, 8 March 2015

Liturgy of "Just Having a Word"

Archdruid:Sorry we're starting a bit late. I was in the Moot House vestry when Hnaef said to me, could he just have a word about the guttering. And then he spent five minutes talking about the moss in the north side gutter.

And then as I was looking for my pointy hat, Dranewort came in and said could he just have a word about this July's fete. And although it could have waited till later, he was there and had my attention by then and what can you do?

And then the tea light went out and there were no matches and while Charlii was looking for a lighter, Rodrick wandered through and started asking me about the doily rota.

When Rodrick went out, Marston came up and said could I just pray for his uncle's elbow. There's not actually anything wrong with his uncle's elbow,  but Marston is hoping that if people keep praying for it then it will stay that way.

Then Burton Dasset came in and said could I please just highlight everything on the notice sheet, as it's really important. And I said, "Is there anything in particular you're worried people won't read, what with it being printed on the notice sheet and projected on the overhead and uploaded on the Facebook page and pinned to the notice board and included in the back page of the Beaker magazine and tattooed on the foreheads of all the stewards. What are you worried we  might miss, Burton?" And he said, no nothing.

He just wouldn't like anyone to miss out.

And then Britnie came in and said could she borrow the goat to mow the lawn and I said obviously.

And then Bridworth nipped in and asked if he could just have a word about putting up a notice advertising the Beetle Drive? And I pointed out it's on the notice sheet and the overhead and the Facebook page etc etc etc and he said yes, but it was a bit of a failure last year, what with it being a bit crap, and could I push it a bit?

And then I came out and said a prayer with the Quire but they were faffing around with their outfits and I had to wait while Brignock found an Eb reed for a G# serpent.

And now I've finally got here. So thanks for your patience. So let's go.....

Go in peace, to make a difference in your world.

All:Thank you and goodnight.


  1. So often you could be mistaken for a real vicar.

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  3. I think that your lot are quite 'gobby'. Where's your cricket bat when you need it?

  4. For really important notices, it's best if the vicar goes round to all houses in the parish and shouts through the letter-box. Try it and you'll be noticed.

  5. Could I just have a word about the Word?


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