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Monday, 23 March 2015

The Evolution of Religion in a Survival Situation

The religions that died out in nations escaping from Egypt across the desert (in descending order of survival rate):
  • The people who liked polyester-cotton fabric mixes
  • The people who trimmed their beards
  • The people who didn't testify against wrongdoing
  • The people who touched unclean animals
  • The people who ate fat
  • The people with a dodgy tattooist
  • The people with an asthma predisposition who thought mildew was pretty cool
  • The people who were allowed to eat shellfish
  • The people who ate pork 
  • The people who ate hoopoes*
  • The people who went around cutting themselves in a desert in hot conditions 
  • The people who thought God wanted them to eat nothing but shellfish 
  • The people who only stole from people bigger than them
  • The people that thought they were commanded to settle down and farm on the Red Sea bed
  • The priests who didn't wear bells on their robes and made God jump.
* It took them ages to catch one, as they didn't know what it was.

4 comments :

  1. two of the tittifers in "in the night garden" are hoopoes

    ReplyDelete
  2. How would Ray Mears survive?

    ReplyDelete
  3. No mention of:
    Estate Agents.
    Bankers.
    Lawyers.
    Methodists.

    What is the world coming too?

    ReplyDelete

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