Monday, 23 March 2015

The Evolution of Religion in a Survival Situation

The religions that died out in nations escaping from Egypt across the desert (in descending order of survival rate):
  • The people who liked polyester-cotton fabric mixes
  • The people who trimmed their beards
  • The people who didn't testify against wrongdoing
  • The people who touched unclean animals
  • The people who ate fat
  • The people with a dodgy tattooist
  • The people with an asthma predisposition who thought mildew was pretty cool
  • The people who were allowed to eat shellfish
  • The people who ate pork 
  • The people who ate hoopoes*
  • The people who went around cutting themselves in a desert in hot conditions 
  • The people who thought God wanted them to eat nothing but shellfish 
  • The people who only stole from people bigger than them
  • The people that thought they were commanded to settle down and farm on the Red Sea bed
  • The priests who didn't wear bells on their robes and made God jump.
* It took them ages to catch one, as they didn't know what it was.


  1. two of the tittifers in "in the night garden" are hoopoes

  2. How would Ray Mears survive?

  3. No mention of:
    Estate Agents.

    What is the world coming too?


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