In the light of the BBC report that genuine Christian refugees and converts are being rejected by immigration officials who bizarrely believe that knowing the 10 Commandments is proof that you are a Christian, we polled the Beaker Folk to ask how well they know the Commandments. The results were, it is fair to say, mixed:
12% of Beaker Folk thought there were actually eleven Commandments.
56% of Beaker Folk thought the first commandment was "You shall love the Lord Your God with all your heart, soul and mind."
42% thought commandments didn't count unless they started with "Thou".
Another 20% thought they were all a bit negative, and couldn't we drop a few "Shalt nots".
28% signed a petition demanding that the Government remove the commandment against homosexuality.
While another 24% signed a petition demanding that the Government replace "do not covet" with "thou shalt not be gay" as they felt that might be more convenient and achievable.
6% knew all the right commandments, but not necessarily in the right order.
60% were strongly in favour of remembering the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy, as long as it didn't stop them popping out for milk when they ran out, or being able to drive to a nice country pub for a spot of lunch now Weatherspoons don't do Sunday lunch.
80% thought "keep taking the tablets" was still hilarious.
I'm currently just waiting for the authorities to come round and deport the lot of us. We obviously don't deserve to stay.