Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Why, if Evolution is True, There are Still Apes

The outcry over the death of the gorilla, Harambe, has caused much outrage. Was it murder? Or justified monkeycide? And if we ascribe rights to an ape, what line does it have to cross to be entitled to human rights?

Which in turn begs the question asked by many a creationist. If evolution is true, and we are descended from apes - why are there still apes?

What this questiondoes is reveal that the questioner doesn't really understand evolution. So let's deal with this once and for all.

The point about evolution is that it is a process. So if apes are still around, what that really proves is that they haven't evolved yet. That doesn't mean they aren't going to - they just haven't got around to it yet. Think of it as like when cars first had seat belts. Others still didn't have them. Then when some had air-bags, others till just had seat belts.  Same with primates. First they're just monkeys, then they evolve into apes. Apes evolve into orangutans. Then they evolve into gorillas, and gorillas into chimps. And, finally, into humans.
How evolution works

But, I hear you ask, if apes just haven't evolved yet - then why aren't they evolving all the time? Why do zoos not have to check their cages carefully in case any apes have evolved in the night?

Again, the answers are found in cutting-edge evolutionary science - specifically the concept of "punctuated equilibrium". Things aren't evolving all the time - otherwise it would be chaos. It takes a change in the climate or other living conditions. And then whole swathes can evolve at the same time - otherwise, the first of a new species would never have anything to mate with.

Despite developing a liking for sweets, Guy never quite made it to human
So we can probably expect global warming to encourage the evolution of more chimps into humans, as having less hair, we can cope with the heat better. So if you're driving round Woburn Safari Park and a naked person asks if you can give them some assistance, report them immediately to the wardens so they can be let out and be reclassified. But whatever you do, don't let them in your car. Humans that have just evolved can be working with their still-ape family to get them all out through the gates. The wardens are wise to such tricks.

So next time somebody asks why there are still apes, please direct them here. They might finally get it.

Guy the Gorilla: By Chris huh - Own work, Public Domain


  1. I have just evolved into a still-higher life-form (even closer to God's own image), but I don't mind talking to you humans.

  2. I was wondering why I've got fatter and slower and a bit grey and wrinkled - I had put it down to natural ageing but now realise that I'm evolving very quickly into an Ape :)


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