Liturgy for the Passing of Carla Lane

Hymn (The Theme from Bread)

Greeting:

Joey Boswell: Greetings!

All: And Greetings to you.

Archdruid: I am a middle-aged woman in search of adventure. My life is dull, and yet opportunities abound. I am not married to a dentist, and my one son is married with a child and does not block the driveway with a car so we have to do an amusing "getting off the drive" dance. When will a tall dark stranger appear mysteriously to bring glamour and excitement into my life?

R Lucien: I'm worried about me rabbits.

Archdruid: I wasn't really thinking about you, R Lucien,

R Carol: R Lucien isn't really a candidate. He's really only interested in his rabbits.

A tea light is lit for the soothing of R Lucien's concerns about his rabbits

Mrs Boswell: I'm confused. Am I Mrs Boswell from the Liver Birds or Mrs Boswell from Bread?

Freddy Boswell: I'm not sure. Have you met Lilo Lil?

Mrs Boswell: SHE IS A TART!!!

Freddy: Then you're Mrs Boswell from Bread.

The Offertory Chicken is passed around

The Offertory Chicken

Liturgical Liver-dance

Archdruid: You dancin'?

All: You askin'?

Archdruid: I'm askin'.

All: We think it's a bit unseemly in Church really. 

Sandra: Do you think I'll ever get married?

Archdruid: One thing we can say is that Carla Lane would never have killed Harambe the Gorilla.

Ken Livingstone: No. That was Hitler.

Dismissal

Grandad Boswell: Where's me Pudding!