Monday, 26 February 2018

Beast from the East: Altered Services

Today's Digging of Ceremonial Holes will be held in the Moot House, in the ritual sand pits. The ground is too hard outside.

Likewise, the Baptism service in the brook is being moved to the indoor swimming pool. I know the existence of an indoor pool will come as a surprise to most of you. But we keep it quiet so non-Druids don't know about it. If everybody starts using it, it plays havoc with our auras.

The Prayer Walk will now be round the sand pits in the Moot House. We'll project some pictures of beaches on the walls to remind you that you should have spent your money on a nice trip for some summer sunshine. Instead of supporting the Thatching Fund.

A lot of Beaker Folk have been asking, if Amanda Platell doesn't like native English people like Stormzy, why she can't go back where she came from. I guess they probably don't want her. And this isn't a case of immigrants (Australians) stealing the locals' jobs. Who'd write for the Mail?

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

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