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From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

Friday, 1 June 2018

Service for National Fish and Chip Day

Hymn: Oh cod, our hope in ages past

Archdruid: Can we have kippers for breakfast

All: Moggy dear, Moggy dear.

Archdruid: What's that flapping in the back row of the quire?

Quire: Basses.

Archdruid: Well, they've had their chips.

Quire: They wanted to sing some "metal" hymns.

Archdruid: OK maybe they're rock salmon?

Hymn: There's a plaice, where the streets shine

Archdruid: My friend Syd ran a mission for fishers of the species Anguilla Anguilla

All: We can see what's coming....

Archdruid: It was an eeling ministry.

Tumbleweed blows across the Moot House

Hymn: Come and do the Conger

Reading: Jonah and the Whale

All: FISH!!!!!

Archdruid: Seriously?

All: It's what it says.

A tonsured person brings the Holy Ants Eggs to the Worship Focus (a fish bowl)

Archdruid: Is that a monkfish?

All: No. He's a fryer.

Hymn: Tell out, my sole

Archdruid: My pet fish is black and white and has only 7 scales.

All: No. Surely not.

Archdruid: It's a piano tuna.

Hymn: Hark what a sound, and too divine for herring

Dismissal

Archdruid: Go in plaice.

All: The Mackerel's ended.



Want to support this blog?
Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

7 comments :

  1. God is working his porpoise out...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds exciting. Salmon to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was absolutely off the scale.

    ReplyDelete
  4. amazing grilse, how sweet the sound

    ReplyDelete
  5. Which would be to say nothing of the piece of cod that passeth all understanding

    ReplyDelete
  6. There is a clam for those who weep ...

    ReplyDelete

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