Thursday, 14 June 2018

All the Runners Run, And all Receive the Prize

Shocked to read about the parents demanding results be overturned on the basis of phone-recorded evidence. To the point where even non-hippy-dippy-pinko-liberal schools are ceasing competitive sports day.

I've previously set the Little Pebbles Academy and Playschool up with complete VAR to ensure all results are scrupulously fair. But that wasn't enough. I still had parents whinging that little Salmonella had a spot on the day of the race, or young Ginseng in Year 2 was slow because little Pisco had looked at him strange.

So I'm glad to announce the Little Pebbles Virtual Reality Sports Day. For a mere 50 quid, you can ensure that your tiny Grimble-Gromble or Twoflower has left all competitors trailing in the dust. And through the magic of VR, and a bit of hacking by Young Keith, we can email you an mp4 of the triumph.

In many ways I feel like I am making both anti-competitive liberals happy at the same time. All have won. And, for a reasonable contribution, all will have prizes.

1 comment :

  1. Winner or loser it's playing the game in a sporting way is the point of all of it. What if those little darlings, grow up always winning and than face losing later in life. At school, at Uni, in the Job Market?

    Are we to be subjected to foot stamping, tearful rants from adults, complaining about how unfair it all is?

    We already have it in Parliament with the SNP leader there, where next? Perhaps a member of the Royal Family complaining that being 60th in line for the throne is so unfair?

    Life is to short. Bite your tongue and get on with it, before you rant at the Pearly Gates that life was so unfair?


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