Spin when you're winning

It is with sadness that I have to announce the resignation of my special adviser, Headwig, after emails were discovered in which he smeared prominent traitors and deviants.  Headwig made the foolish mistake of being found out, and he will have to live with the consequences. 

I will not try to defend Headwig.  It is clear that his claims that Drayton Parslow likes to dress up as a smurf and have postmen rub Ralgex onto his chest are juvenile and pathetic, even if I suspect that's just the sort of thing that Drayton would like.  So it is clearly right that he go.  But I am concerned that in order to get this information, somebody must have illicitly accessed Headwig's emails.  This is outrageous.  Obviously, I have recently taken on myself the responsibility to filter all emails into and out of the community, in case they contain threats to the freedom of thought, conscience and belief which we hold so dear.  But of course I can be trusted.  

I am sure the stain of this nasty affair need go no further than the scapegoat we have already driven into the wilderness.