Sunday, 5 July 2009

Gibbon Moon People go mad in Bedfordshire

This fear of the Moon Gibbon really must stop.  The schismatic tendencies of this community have often been recorded, but to see the panic in the Moon Gibbon people is a real shock this month.
Traditionally, the Moon Gibbon people have started panicking as the moon wanes after the full moon.  This is - within their own warped frame of reference - quite logical.  After all, the moon is getting smaller.  The belief that a gigantic extra-terrestrial primate is consuming the moon is completely logical.  That is, if you believe that the moon is really getting smaller, that there are such things as enormous astral gibbons, that the Apollo mission was a giant hoax, that the alleged Moon Gibbon can exist in a vacuum, etc.  
We do not judge.  We respect all people's rights to their views - however cracked.
But surely the whole point of the Moon Gibbon is that it is scary after the full moon?  Before the full moon, the Moon Gibbon people are generally happy, optimistic, joys-of-spring people.  Why this month did they choose to run screaming into the woods while the moon is still waxing?  Apart from anything else, it's ruined the weekend for the Fertility Beaker Folk.  They were looking forward to a long weekend of what they do best, when a bunch of hysterical fundamentalists ran into the woods and hid behind the trees.
A note to the Moon Gibbon People.  Please get a grip.  Be rational.  The Gibbon's not going to start eating the moon for a good three days yet.  

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