Marriage Rights

I received a phone call today. A young lady asking if I would marry her. I said that was very sweet of her, but I hardly know her and in fact I'm already married. I went on to explain that while I can't discover my wife Marjorie's current whereabouts, we're very much still married and as soon as the Private Detective gets back to me with her location I'm sure we'll be back together again. But then the young lady told me that she didn't want to become wedded to me, she actually wanted to be married to her boyfriend, who wasn't me.

Well of course I didn't take this personally. After all, I'm already married. And, by the sound of it, old enough to be her father. But I'm in a position of moral authority. So I told her that she shouldn't go phoning up pastors in the evenings making these kind of propositions, dangling proposals and then letting them down. All I could hear was silence at her end of the line after I said this. So I wished her good night and hung up.

Ten minutes later, the phone rang again. The same girl. Saying I didn't understand - she wanted me to marry her and her boyfriend. I informed her that, even after the previous 13 years of ungodly New Labour rule, polyandry was still illegal. I thought it was highly immoral and had no Biblical precedent. Once again, silence at the other end. So again I wished her "God bless" and hung up.

I hope I don't have a stalker.