Friday, 20 November 2020

Boris Johnson Saves Christmas

The nation is in a state of fearful confusion.

Many are scared of a disease that disproportionately kills older people. Those with medical conditions hide away. While a grinning fool called RumpleDalrimple wanders the country without a mask to hide his face, to everyone's pain and discomfort.

As the nights draw in and the weather turns cold, people are increasingly gathering together indoors - increasing the chances that they will pass on the disease to their families. 

Common sense would say that people should, out of care for the relatives, make this Christmas particularly low-key. Stick to phone calls and Internet chat. Stay within their own homes, or out in the open air. Avoid clustering together with people they've not seen for 12 months, in case they are unwittingly carrying the illness. Maybe even discover the age-old wonders of writing cards or round-robin letters. 

Where can the country find someone desperate to give some good news to achieve some temporary popularity? Someone who would put a few days of nostalgia and warm feelings above the sadness of deaths in the new year? Someone who lives day to day, prepared to get some pleasure now, regardless of what may be coming down the line?

Only Boris Johnson can save Christmas. 


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