Beaker Folk Gather Under the Stairs
Archdruid: The Spirit of the Blitz be with you.
All: And also with you.
Hodges: Put that light out!
Archdruid: We celebrate the Brexit deal which means we need to have the Blitz Spirit.
Hodges: Put that light out!
Doris: Dig for Victory!
Jacob Rees-Mogg: Build back, butler.
Butler: Very good, young Mr Rees-Mogg.
Archdruid: It was a brilliant, oven-ready deal.
Lord Frost: Which we were conned into signing by Anna Soubry, Marcel Proust, and Michel Barnier.
Archdruid: Lord Frost did such a great job.
Lord: And also a terrible job. Which wasn't my fault. It was a brilliant deal and an awful one.
Archdruid: So we gather together to celebrate the famous Blitz Spirit. Which carried us through the Second World War and will carry us through the self-inflicted woes of Brexit. Which is going completely to plan.
Norris: It's brilliant. Queues everywhere. I nearly passed out with joy in the Post Office yesterday.
Doris: Dig for Victory!
Norris: If we start now we'll have beaten Adolf by Christmas.
Charlii: I light a candle to celebrate the Blitz Spirit.
Hodges: Put that light out!
Keith: I CAN'T TAKE IT IN HERE WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
Archdruid: Is that really the Blitz Spirit, Keith?
Keith: Turns out, yes. Along with outbreaks of looting, theft, and murder.
Charlii: I light a candle in this confined darkness.
Hodges: Put that light out!
Doris: Dig for Victory!
Archdruid: The Brits. Plucky, independent people. Not seduced by simple slogans and cheap propaganda.
Hodges: Put that light out!
Doris: Dig for Victory!
Norris: Takes me back to the good old days. 3-day weeks, power cuts. Bodies lying unburied in the streets. No bin collections. Angst and despair.
Archdruid: Aren't you conflating 1973 and 1979 there, Norris?
Norris: No. This was last week in Bedford.
Charlii: I light this candle to the plucky spirit of the Brits.
Archdruid: Who farted?
Burton: Oops.
All: PUT THAT LIGHT OUT!
Beaker Folk are blown out of the cupboard under the stairs
Norris: Now, that's more like the Blitz!
Doris: Dig for Victory!
We shall never surrender
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog and have learned much. Until yesterday, I presumed you had created the location of Husborne Crawley until I saw it printed on a real signpost whilst we were heading to Bletchley Park after two wonderful days in Brighton. Long may you and your Beaker Folk continue.
ReplyDeleteI cycled to Burton Dasset this summer purely on the strength of Eileen's descriptions. It lived down to my expectations.
DeleteThe viability of the Beaker Folk is reliant upon the imagination of a Church of England Parish Priest who makes it up as he goes along. Fortunately he is permitted to dress up as an Arch Druid when robing for services in his parish churches.
ReplyDelete