I won't link to it. But the Express has listed the nine best Brexit benefits out of 2,000 sent to Jacob Rees-Mogg. When you consider that those nine include having slightly more powerful electric cycles, you can tell how well it's all going.
And we can now put a crown on the side of a glass. It would make you proud to be British. If you could tell it was a British crown. Last I looked, all sorts of countries had or have crown images. How do we know that when putting a crown on a glass, it's not one third of a Papal crown? Or a Swedish crown on holiday? But then given you can put brewers' names and logos on glasses, or archers, or lions - is there any evidence that the one thing the EU stopped going on a glass was a crown? Seems unlikely.
But, not to be put off, it is now being trailed that Imperial measures are being reintroduced. I'm sure that, to cut red tape, having twice the weights and measures to check is really effective.
And this makes real sense. After all, think of all those people over 65 who never learnt metric at school. They've only had 50 years to get used to them. And think of all the scientists who, instead of publishing results in Angstroms (a foreign name if I ever heard one) will be able to measure the widths of molecules in nanobarleycorns.
And it's a winner at the Olympics. When all the other nations have to run 100m, we'll be able to stroll home over 100 yards. Though British 1,500m runners might have to put in a bit more honest British sweat and elbow grease running a whole mile.
I'm sure the whole thing isn't a giant distraction from Rishi Sunak giving tax breaks to oil companies to find more oil - the very thing we really don't need them doing - and equally sure that wasn't a distraction from Partygate, Wallpapergate, Dilyngate, or the generally incompetent way this bunch of second-rate journalists, car dealers, and hedge fund owners is running the country. And I likewise assume this isn't just some pathetic attempt to find a rationale for Brexit when a plunging rate of trade, meltdown at borders and total lack of good times for the fishing industry might suggest it's not been great.
And I will point out that, if Natalie Elphicke starts measuring the Brexit-induced queues at Dover in yards rather than metres, they're going to look even longer.
But we want to help. And we noticed in the Big Beaker Book of Hymns that traditional hymns are given "meters". Not only a metric measurement but a badly-spelt one to boot.
So we have converted all the hymns from meters to Imperial measurements. No need to thank me - it was my pleasure. A little sampler below.
| Hymn | Hymn Meter | Hymn Yard |
| Amazing Grace | 8 6 8 6 | 8.7489 6.5617 8.7489 6.561 |
| All People that on Earth Do Well | 88 8 8 | 8.7489 8.7489 8.7489 8.7489 |
| And Can it Be | 8 8 8 8 8 8 with refrain | 8.7489 8.7489 8.7489 8.7489 8.7489 8.7489 with refrain |
| O Come, All Ye Faithful | Irregular | Peculiar |
Surely you should be using fractions to express the remainders in the yards? These decimal points feel very unimperial ๐
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree, great effort though but a definite learning point for your next homework๐ค๐๐ฟ⭐️❤️๐
ReplyDeleteI am confused. Weren't the metrical things measured in feet anyway? Are those metric feet?
ReplyDelete3 feet in a yard. 7 ounces in an iambic pentameter.
ReplyDeleteThat's a firkin lie.
DeleteI dunno about you, but I am over 65 and I definitely had metric shoved down my throat - even in my infant school.
ReplyDeleteI am not over 65.
DeleteI'm over 65. And my convent prep school spent most of most of the rithmetic lessons spoiling everyone's days with too much LSD.
DeleteI too am over 65, and didn't get metric in my Imperial Education. But when I joined the Army we measured in paces. The length of pace in quick and slow march. We also measured in shooting, how many rounds from a single shot weapon you could get down the range in a minute. We did have enough Imperial Measurements in our Uniforms, hat sizes and boot sizes. Unfortunately those in the Clothing Store who had to size us for uniforms seemed to have been educated in Latin measurements (or it might have been metric) and we found ourselves wearing uniforms with sleeves to long or boots too big or too small, leading to the Sgt Major telling us off in fruity language on not getting our sizes right. After extensive tailoring and reissues of kit, we ended up looking like fairly smart soldiers. Metric was introduced as we were learning to navigate by map and compass which was confusing as the maps were still in imperial measures until Ordnance Survey got their act together and put dual distance measures on them. It definitely was an impediment to someone educated in Imperial Times, but adaptability was key. Now Decimal Currency - that was another story. Learning to convert £sd into this foreign currency took me a while. Than I was posted to Europe to an international unit, where four currencies were in play. I will end there as my eyes are starting to water.
ReplyDelete