After much electronic ink was spilt over the last two days regarding the ban on social networking, mobile phones and laptops in the public gallery at the Church of England Synod, I would like to reassure Beaker People that this won't happen at the next Moot.
Although, due to the electromagnets in the Moot House, you will find that phones are very unlikely to get a signal - a fact that saves a lot of embarrassment during worship - I can guarantee that the wireless access is excellent.
However Beaker People may find a slight delay of a few minutes between tweeting or blogging, and their posting actually appearing on the Internet. This is due to the relativistic effect of all those magnets, I promise - and has nothing to do with the PC to which Young Keith will be glued all evening. I can assure people that it's called the "Censer PC" - because Young Keith often burns the Community joss-sticks. The label saying "Censor PC" was a misprint.
Showing posts with label Moot House. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moot House. Show all posts
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
The New Moot House
The wonders of modern construction!
The new Moot House is now available for worship. Based on lightweight flameproof foamed concrete panels. The new central chimney sections carry smoke from the Eternal Flame up through the circular roof. The Eternal Flame is now burning on logs, with a backup gas supply in case the logs run out. And a backup battery and LED in case the gas runs out.
There have been comments that the outside looks rather grubby. This is because we have sprayed the walls and roof with a yoghurt solution to encourage moss and lichens to grow. We want this Moot House to be part of its natural environment. This also goes for the Husborne Spring, the brook from which we have channeled below the floor of the Moot House, where it is displayed under a smoked-glass floor in a manner which we have in no way ripped off from the ideas of a church in Plymouth. The water then bubbles up by the Eternal Flame, to enable us to carry out Filling up of Beakers in the warm and dry in all seasons. The brook then disappears under the glass again, and is channeled out in a North-Westerly direction, towards the setting midsummer sunrise, and out onto its natural course to the Ouse, and ultimately, the North Sea. It makes you feel kind of connected, doesn't it? But please can you all stop playing Pooh Sticks immediately. It detracts from the holiness.
The new doors are based on industrial fire shutters with some automation from garage door technology built in. I know that shiny metallic look is a bit out of character with the rest of the building, but just think how cool it's gonna look when I hit the button and they rise up just as the sun rises and just after it sets at mid-Summer and mid-Winter.
It's hi-tech, flame-proof, bomb-proof, impeccably Feng Shui-ed, in all the proper alignments, and we've thrown gallons of blessed water all over the floor. What could possibly go wrong?
The new Moot House is now available for worship. Based on lightweight flameproof foamed concrete panels. The new central chimney sections carry smoke from the Eternal Flame up through the circular roof. The Eternal Flame is now burning on logs, with a backup gas supply in case the logs run out. And a backup battery and LED in case the gas runs out.
There have been comments that the outside looks rather grubby. This is because we have sprayed the walls and roof with a yoghurt solution to encourage moss and lichens to grow. We want this Moot House to be part of its natural environment. This also goes for the Husborne Spring, the brook from which we have channeled below the floor of the Moot House, where it is displayed under a smoked-glass floor in a manner which we have in no way ripped off from the ideas of a church in Plymouth. The water then bubbles up by the Eternal Flame, to enable us to carry out Filling up of Beakers in the warm and dry in all seasons. The brook then disappears under the glass again, and is channeled out in a North-Westerly direction, towards the setting midsummer sunrise, and out onto its natural course to the Ouse, and ultimately, the North Sea. It makes you feel kind of connected, doesn't it? But please can you all stop playing Pooh Sticks immediately. It detracts from the holiness.
The new doors are based on industrial fire shutters with some automation from garage door technology built in. I know that shiny metallic look is a bit out of character with the rest of the building, but just think how cool it's gonna look when I hit the button and they rise up just as the sun rises and just after it sets at mid-Summer and mid-Winter.
It's hi-tech, flame-proof, bomb-proof, impeccably Feng Shui-ed, in all the proper alignments, and we've thrown gallons of blessed water all over the floor. What could possibly go wrong?
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