The danger of thin places

Every year at some point I have to emphasise this.

Thin places may look like fun, but they can be dangerous. Places may be thinner than they look. Do not walk out on thin places, do not skate on them, and in particular do not jump up and down on them.

We'll be down at the newly-discovered Thin Place in 10 Acre Field for this afternoon's Filling up of Beakers. We'll be trying to understand the conundrum - if God is omniscient and omnipotent, how come there are allegedly places where the Divine is closer? And if God's closer there, how can there be other places where the One in whom we live and move and have our being is farther away?

Deep in the dark plantation

Nancy put in a comment the other day to which I was too fretful to respond. She asked whether we are in a dark forest. Well, Nancy, I'm afraid we're actually in a clearing in the midst of fields and a bit of a modern plantation, between the Woburn Road and Crow Lane. It's funny though - even though it's only a fairly new plantation of trees, it's very hard to find us. You'd think that it would be easy to see the Great House, the Moot House and all the rest. But in fact they're very well tucked away. Although, of course, easy to get to from the White Horse.

Aspley Heath is much more the kind of dark, dank forest of imagination. But we tend to avoid it as it's rather scary late at night when carrying out serious lunar-based activities, and quite a walk. While the other way, beyond the motorway, is a forest so deep that it is deemed perfect for a Center(sp) Parcs(sp).  We aren't massively impressed with Center Parcs and their bid for a new Centre (sic). Partly because in these trying fiscal times it's all competition for the purse of the middle-class idealist, and partly because they clearly can't spell.

Of the Ordering of Thin Places

Of recent times there has been some controversy regarding the identification and treatment of "thin places". These thin places are where heaven and earth seem to be particularly close together - we think of Jacob at Bethel, for instance, of Walsingham, or of the chippy in Woburn Sands. Therefore for the avoidance of controversy, and to put aside the superstition associated with thin places, we will be adopting the following rules.

1. It's not enough to make somewhere a thin place, just for you to feel particularly spiritual there and label it as a thin place yourself. This would be dangerously democratic and give everyone the idea that they had their own right to experience of the divine, unregulated by the necessary druidic power.

2. If you believe you have identified a thin place, you must fill in the "thin place potential identification form" (TPPIF). This should clearly indicate where the thin place is (OS reference + a short description); why you think it may be a thin place; and what kind of vouchers (MFI or Woolworth's) you wish to receive as your reward.

3. Upon receipt of a TPPIF, we will ensure that a triad of druids (the minimum number) will investigate within 3 days. Such investigation may include, but not necessarily be restricted to, pendulums; prayer; casting of lots; checking the guide book or whatever seems most appropriate.

4. If the thin place is confirmed, you will receive a "thin place confirmation form" (TPCF) which you should show at the Shop Yurt to receive your vouchers, or alternatively a very small beaker with the words "a present from Hunstanton".

5. Upon confirmation of a definite thin place, Hnaef will tape the area off with red and white (or, according to the liturgical time of year, yellow) emergency tape. We don't want just anyone blundering around on sacred ground.