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Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Autumnal Instructions

To confirm that Autumn has commenced. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill.

Hi viz from now to Samhain is orange. Rotations are to be anti-clockwise.

When meeting a Sage in a corridor, it is now necessary to pass the dutchy on the left hand side.

Apologies are to commence with the lyrics of "Forever Autumn". It is not really spiritual, but it is very autumnal. It will also be good preparation in the event that the Martians come back.

In keeping with the appropriate autumnal feel of doom 'n' gloom, the tune to Lord of the Dance will be piped through the community every morning at 9.14, in a minor key. We know how awkward that makes everyone feel. In keeping with our Sydney Carter-Free-Zone status, the penalty for singing any of the words is stoning, commuted to sitting in a barrel while we throw conkers at the offender.

Filling Up of Beakers now moves from its standard time to sunset every evening. Since this is very hard to work out, sunset has been defined as being 7pm, regardless. Conveniently, this is the same time as we were holding it in the summer, so nobody should notice any different.

If you're feeling cold, wear another sweater. Wimps.

3 comments:

  1. "If you're feeling cold, wear another sweater. Wimps."

    What do you mean "another sweater". Never mind this New Age malarkey from the 70s. Trad pagans go skyclad all year round. Just grow your hair if you are cold. And we don't rotate anti-clockwise or use beakers and tea-lights - we rotate widdershins, and use goblets, and proper candles made from cavalier spaniels' earwax. (the latter may be a regional peculiarity of Cheshire which has always been staunchly royalist (except for parts of Ellesmere Port).

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  2. Somewhere among this gobbledegook must be sense, but nobody will be able to detect it. I'm beginning to think that Arch Druid Eileen's sabbatical is a grave error, because things at the Beaker Folk under Charli's leadership are a real mess.

    For example there have not been any reports of assualt and battery since the Arch Druid went. Lots of waving of the Cricket Bat, but no physical application.

    It seems to me that Charli suffers from what used to be described as "A lack of moral fibre" by the US authorities. Now, more commonly described as "not up to the job".

    Burton Dassett for Arch Druid, while Charli can return to the pews until she gets some moral fibre.

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  3. Sigh...the world will indeed be forever Autumn, when Archdruid Eileen's not here. Come back, all is forgiven!

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