It's obvious to me that, in these disjointed and troubled times, what we really need to be into - if we're going to inspire a new generation and reach the agnostic* masses - is Manning Up the Church in a serious way. We've done the old, hippy liberal ways too long, and look where it's left us. We need Manning Up.
Obviously I'm referring to this chap.
Cardinal Henry Edward Manning. The first man in England to use the expression "Nuns! Run!" in a humorous context. A great influence on education and, above all, a man who was not ashamed of a bit of lace.
Yep, that's what we're missing in the modern church. We're scared of lace. Too much dark wood and sharp edges. Well, I've seen the light. From now on, every single hi-viz in Beaker liturgical use has got to have lace trim. We're doing a new line of proper lace doilies for the tea lights. The new Archdruidical pointy hat will have plenty of lace.
We've had enough of a feminised church. We're Manning Up!
* The true definition of "agnostic" is "having no garden gnomes". Not a lot of people know that.
Image Henry Edward Manning by Barraud, c1880s" by Herbert Rose Barraud - . Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.