Thursday, 22 January 2015

Manning Up the Church

I'm indebted to the brilliantly ranty and rantingly brilliant God Loves Women for reminding me of something we were planning to do.

It's obvious to me that, in these disjointed and troubled times, what we really need to be into - if we're going to inspire a new generation and reach the agnostic* masses - is Manning Up the Church in a serious way. We've done the old, hippy liberal ways too long, and look where it's left us. We need Manning Up.

Obviously I'm referring to this chap.

Cardinal Henry Edward Manning. The first man in England to use the expression "Nuns! Run!" in a humorous context. A great influence on education and, above all, a man who was not ashamed of a bit of lace.

Yep, that's what we're missing in the modern church. We're scared of lace. Too much dark wood and sharp edges. Well, I've seen the light. From now on, every single hi-viz in Beaker liturgical use has got to have lace trim. We're doing a new line of proper lace doilies for the tea lights. The new Archdruidical pointy hat will have plenty of lace.

We've had enough of a feminised church. We're Manning Up!

* The true definition of "agnostic" is "having no garden gnomes". Not a lot of people know that.

Image Henry Edward Manning by Barraud, c1880s" by Herbert Rose Barraud - [1]. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.


  1. I never knew about the gnomes. Note the alliteration.

  2. Oh, I thought this was a reference to Dr Who. We need Jo Grant rushing around screaming "Doctor! Doctor!" as a hideous creature in weird clothes (possibly a female bishop) wanders up the aisle.

    Actually, Katy Manning is rather nice, at least on Twitter.

  3. I've often wondered how Manning Up requires the use of Lace? As a child, I served Mass in Catholic Churches and the lace on our Cotta's was something to behold, it matched that of the girls who came for first communion. In fact, I believe that I was mistaken for one and given my first communion by mistake by our elderly, short sighted Priest. :(


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