I am a firm believer in the power of the Spirit. Indeed I remember an occasion many years ago when a friend at a prayer meeting in an Anglican church was so smitten by the awesome presence that he lay down on a table tomb for two hours in a divine trance. We had to use him as a coffee table.
But sometimes the Spirit's not willing. And human flesh is weak. All that pushing people over or laying hands on so hard they keel over doesn't work when you have the body of a woman and only the heart and narcissistic tendencies of a man.
We did experiment with getting toddlers to crawl behond people and crouch behind their knees. Thus it was just a quick shove in the chest to deliver a satisfactory spiritual experience. But then I discovered the Little Pebbles had developed a whole new religion on the basis that pushing people over gets you to heaven, so we had to knock that on the head. Caused carnage in Dunstable Quadrant one Saturday, they did.
And so in a feat of combined spirituality and engineering, we cannibalised an old lane "bumper" from a ten-pin bowling alley. Connected it up via a relay to the mixing console, and sunk it into the floor around the Worship Focus in the Moot House.
Now at the touch of a button the rod flips up and we can give six or seven people a simultaneous "unexpectedly slain" experience. Looks very impressive when they all go down together.
This afternoon I managed to catch the plumber with it when he came in to make some mibor changes to the baptistry. That's the third tradesman we've converted this month.