Sunday, 21 January 2018

Brexit is Magic

The penny dropped trying to discuss Brexit with a Brexiter today.

You see, I'd always thought that Brexit was a kind of religion. But it isn't, is it?

Brexit isn't about economics. Because nobody with any sense in that area would believe in Brexit. It's not about politics, really.

And it's not a religion. Firstly because, for instance, the evidence for the Resurrection is far greater than the evidence that Brexit is a great idea. But mostly because there's no idea of an ordering principle, and no moral element.

No, Brexit is magic. An attempt to change reality through the power of wishful thinking and the right words. The belief that if you write something you want on a bus, it becomes true.

Which is why you are wasting your time using economics, politics, geography or logic in reasoning with a Brexiter.  None of these things apply in a Brexit worlview. Because Brexit is magic. Magic doesn't need to obey normal rules. All you have to do is say the right things, in the right way, and everything will turn out great.

And the great thing about magic is that it has an all-purpose get out. When Brexit is a disaster, it's not going to be because of all the tin foil hat-wearers, Putin bots and pub racists saying "We're leaving." No. When Brexit is a disaster, it will be because the politicians didn't do it right. The idiocy of just walking out of a massive, successful long-term trading relationship will never be shown. Because, even if Theresa May isn't a brilliant politician, she's good enough to know that "just leave" is a stupid thing to do. So it will never be tried.  And therefore never disproved.

No, just keep saying to yourself "We're leaving." It's definitely going to work. And if it doesn't, it's because of all those evil Bremoaners who just don't believe enough. They're like the Darling family refusing to think wonderful things so they can fly. Just do what the magicians say, believe in Brexit, and before you know it you'll be in Neverland. And if Theresa May can't get us there - surely Jacob Rees Mogg can? That's the Brexit belief after all - that Mogg is just waiting, like King Arthur beneath the hill, to lead us all to glory.

If you can believe that Jacob Rees Mogg is the sort of person you cocked a snook at the "Establishment" to put in power, magic is your stuff. If you think that Boris Johnson is going to put a bridge over the Channel when he can't even put a garden over the Thames - when in fact all he is capable of is putting his leg over women he's not married to - you believe in magic. It ain't science, it ain't politic, it ain't economics.

Brexit is magic.

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.


  1. I blame Brexit on Giles Fraser and President Trump and that Morgan geezer on the ITV Good Morning show.

  2. Alternatively, the desire to reduce Brexit to economics is just Modernist secularism...

  3. "The belief that if you write something you want on a bus, it becomes true."

    Not sure this is right. They didn't believe it was true because they do not believe in the NHS. Their pupose was to persuade people to vote leave not to save the NHS.

  4. I'd like a sticker saying 'BREXIT IS BONKERS'

  5. Always difficult to use logic and reason to talk someone out of a position that they didn't use logic and reason to acquire.


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