The First Deal After Brexit

A correspondent sends me this photograph of a National Trust visitor's passport, and a thought strikes me.

Clearly the Government is wasting its time  chasing trade deals with the Pacific nations, or trying to get a deal that is just as good as the one we already have with the EU, with the EU.

Instead we should be looking to form a trade alliance with the National Trust. Look  at the colour of their Visitor's Passport, after all. Once the UK, like the NT, has an iconic blue passport, this will radically reduce delays at Visitors' Centres.

But you know, why go to all the trouble of leaving the EU at all? The Government figures showed that even a Canada-style deal would cost each person in this country £1800 per annum. But membership of the NT is only £70 per annum. If instead of leaving Europe we just buy each Brexit voter annual subscription, we could save a fortune.

By allowing Brexit voters to visit our nation's stately homes all year for free, we can allow them to live in the past all the time, at limited cost to the country. They can relive a time when the rich man was in his castle - and the poor man at his gate, picking early strawberries, was not Slovenian.

We can also solve the housing crisis. If we build new houses on the Thomas Hardy 's House model, look at the advantages:

• By living 8 or 9 people to a three bedroom house, construction costs will be reduced.
• No need for running water! With a well in the garden and an outside privy, you can build poor people homes "off grid."
•  By living in the 19th Century, ordinary people can be proud of the Empire, sure of our nation's destiny and perfectly willing to mine the coal we'll need when Sterling falls and we can't afford to import gas or oil.

Come on in, the earth toilet's lovely! 

Yes, it's the way to go. A Brexit Britain is one in which you can have National Trust.

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