Monday 16 February 2009

Science and Religion

Once again we are happy to allow a guest to air his views - on this occasion Dr Dweeb Dexter, who has recently set up his new Laboratory of Blatting Out of Existence (L-Boe).

Many people have written on the supposed conflict between Science and Religion - suggesting that Science has "disproved" Religion, or that Science is merely a tool of the Dark One.  Yet others have tried to assign different roles to the two - Science attempting to answer the question "how" while Religion asks "why".  I would like to suggest that in fact there is a question common both to theologians and scientists.  And that question is "how can I get a grant"?  On this question we can all agree.

If you are a theologian looking for a bit of dosh, it's no good supporting the traditional line.  Who's going to give you any money for that?  If you want to get some-one to buy your books, or make it onto the chat-show circuit, you want to claim Jesus was a chipmunk, or St Peter and the other apostles were members of the Beaker People.

In much the same way, there's not much point a scientist mixing chemicals together to make pretty colours.  Who's going to pay you for that?  Personally, I've made an absolute mint out of my research into blatting things out of existence.  There's plenty of people prepared to pay for that kind of research.  Of course, science being a morally neutral activity, I am bound to pursue this kind of investigation regardless of petty moral concerns.  I am concerned solely with truth.

Now I realise that some of you are a little concerned about my new  Laboratory of Blatting Out of Existence.  Please don't worry.  According to my (theoretical) calculations, the chances of my Blatting & Obliteration Machine (or BOM for short) creating an existential vortex that sucks the whole of Husborne Crawley into the void is less than one in a thousand.  Hardly worth worrying about. And think about the size of the cheques if it works!

I hope this has put your minds at rest.

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