Authentic Footwashing

What with the Moot House being empty, I clearly won't be having the Footwashing ritual this year.
Every year they've asked me if they can have an authentic Seder meal.  And every year I've said that's fine, as long as all male Beaker People can ensure they're as authentically qualified for such a meal as is surgically possible.  Then every year they wince and the issue turns to can we have footwashing.

So I point out that's fine.  But to be authentic, it's no good those feet being nice clean middle-class tootsies, beautifully pedicured and bathed and talcumed before anyone else can touch them. 

No.  If they want footwashing then the washees must have walked barefoot up the road from the White Horse, across the meadow, through the alpaca enclosure and then down the gravel path to the Moot House.

So far we've never had a year when anyone was prepared to go through with this.  But I've always been firm.  If they do all these things, then and only then will I delegate one of the other members of the leadership team to wash their feet.  What do they think I am?  One of the staff?