A Liturgical Mime to Explain the Colours of Advent Candles

The Moot House Worship Focus table is covered with a fair, purple cloth

The Ring-bearer places on the fair, purple cloth an empty Advent Ring.

Candle-bearer the First advances with a purple candle and places it in its holder.

The Explicator points to the purple cloth and the purple candle, to indicate that they are associated by colour.

Candle-bearer the Second advances with a purple candle and places it in its holder.

The Explicator points to the purple cloth, and the purple candle, to indicate that they are associated by colour.

Candle-bearer the Third advances with a pink candle and places it in its holder.

The False Explicator advances with a picture of Our Lady, and points to the pink candle, Our Lady, then to some sugar, spice and all things nice;  a " Little Princess" dressing-up set, and "My Little Pony".

The Corrector takes the picture of Our Lady and places it reverently to one side,  then removes all the junk that the False Explicator brought in with the picture.

The Melanogrammusifer slaps the False Explicator around the face with a wet fish.

The Explicator points to a pink rose, the first delicate pink of the rising sun, somebody in the pink of health, a bottle of sparkling pink wine and a pink Cadillac, to indicate the associations of the colour pink.

Candle-bearer the Fourth advances with a purple candle and places it in its holder.

The Explicator points to the purple cloth, and the purple candle, to indicate that they are associated by colour.

Candle-bearer the Fifth advances with a white candle and places it in its central holder.

The Explicator points to the colour of snow, of a sheet of paper not yet blotted with scruffy blue or red ink, to a pure white dove and the white candle, to indicate that they are associated by colour.

The Political Corrector spends the next thirty minutes making it quite clear that white, in this context, is not to be associated with race - that so-called "white" people are actually a grubby pinky-grey, and that Our Lord himself, when he came to this earth, chose to be rather brown-skinned (whatever the picture of his mother might suggest about her ancestry).

If we're very lucky, somebody might light a candle.