A pastor in an American church has declared that gay people cause hurricanes, and in doing so joins a long, noble tradition.
For clearly the hurricane currently flooding the Republican-supporting state of Texas can be laid at the door of a lesbian former mayor - not an adulterous current President. In the same way, Hurricane Katrina was God's anger poured out on America for the election of Barack Obama.
But I think we can draw an important lesson, brothers and sisters, from the fact that tens of thousands of married heterosexuals have lost their homes in the Houston flooding resulting from Hurricane Harvey. God's punishment is inaccurate - more like carpet bombing than a precision missile.
Why, one might ask, does God strike so inaccurately? Clearly, brothers and sisters, because Heaven is so high up. There must be a margin of error.
And I know some will say that the layout of Houston - the urban sprawl, drainage of lakes, poor consideration of flooding risks, search for a quick buck - made the flooding much worse. But greed and lack of consideration for one's fellow men are minor sins compared to lesbianism. And how dare one try to set up hydrology against the word of God?
Then consider the time that Pat Robertson prophecied hurricanes would strike Florida as a punishment for homosexuality, and the first hurricane of the season hit the town where Robertson started his "700 Club".
And then there was Tony Perkins, who said hurricanes were God's punishment but had to flee his flooded home shortly afterwards. Did he have secret sins? Are meteorological disasters purely natural events? Or did God just miss a gay couple in the next street? I think the answer is obvious. God is not a very good shot.
My belief that God has a poor aim sustains me when I remember the time I was struck by lightning, walking across Lower Meadow. Clearly, in his Divine mercy but inaccuracy, he was aiming at Archdruid Eileen.
NB: Eileen, the self-styled Archdruid next door, has pointed out that at the time of Hurricane Katrina, Barack Obama had not yet been elected. However need I point out that God is able to see the future? Proactive punishment is well within God's range.
There obviously must be many many more homosexuals in India then.
ReplyDeleteThe argument on the lack of marksmanship by God falls short of the truth. He is as accurate as he needs to be, and the Lightening strike on you should have been taken as a warning.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I think that you should book a Holiday in Florida (where a new Hurricane is waiting to strike) to prove your theory - but if it hits you only, we will be released from your heretic babbling and the Lovely Arch Druid will ably fill your space.
Amber flood alert issued for the Thames valley after a man won £50 on a scratchcard and said 'oh my god!' 3 times in quick succession. (stolen from @UkipWeather :)
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