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Thursday, 24 May 2018

That Final-24-Hours Desperate GDPR email

We realise you've probably never heard of us.

And that's because we've just realised it's GDPR Day tomorrow. And we've got a load of emails we just found on a server. And it's SPAM TIME!

So please please please click that magic subscribe button. Or a kitten dies.

Not just an ugly kitten. A nice one.

And we'll be moderately horrible to a Shiba Inu. That's how we roll.

But stay with us and think of the fun we could have. The workshops you can get invited to. The exclusive cocktail parties in a skyscraper overlooking the Thames. The book offers.

Of course this is just the "general comms" button. In a moment you're gonna get another email just like this one, from the Marketing department. And another from the Education department.

And one from Envisioning. He sits in an office on his own. But he's building his own empire. And he's copied all our files. I know he has.

Then Brand Awareness. And Re-engineering.  They're all going to be rushing in with their own GDPR emails. I know. I've seen what's lined up on Mail Chimp.

But I got here first. So surely you'll want to stay in touch with me?

Only I get so lonely. It's just me in this office. I used to have a team. I loved having a team. But what with downsizing and outsourcing and decentralised cloud-based things, I'm on my own.

Yes, Envisioning is down the corridor. But he scares me a bit.

So please click on that button. Or the hamster gets it.

Did I mention the hamster? He's so fluffy and lovely and trusting.

And so innocently sitting on that shredder.

Go on. You know you want to stay in touch.

Yours in love

Bishop Bernie

You're not hovering over the "Spam" button are you?

1 comment :

  1. This sounds like so many emails I received. Are you sure that you're not the originator of them all?

    I wouldn't be surprised to find out and I would consider reporting you to that nice lady from the UsA who is heading up the ICO (whatever that is>_


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