Sunday, 18 November 2018

A Less Religious Christening

Well I think it mostly went well this morning. The family didn't want a "religious" christening, and the Beaker Folk wanted something a bit lively. And so the dry ice in the font was lovely, and the way the holographic laser set-up made a beautiful three-dimensional fountain shame, spiralling above the centre of the Moot House.

The music was well chosen, I thought. Chosen to ensure that the visiting family knew all the songs from their school days. So "Bob the Builder", "The Wheels on the Bus", and "If I were a Butterfly". All played on the pheromone. Not really sure how Burton managed that, and it was a bit disturbing. Simple mistake though. I asked if he could play the theremin.

Hnaef preached the sermon. I say "sermon". He was keen not to use any theological terms, or any religious language that the family and their guests wouldn't understand. Actually, maybe an in-depth comparison of Old English with the C++ programming language was less theological than was actually required. But at least, in accordance with the strict precepts of a Beaker sermon at a baptism, it was only three minutes long and didn't mention God.

So not a bad experience all round. The family really felt welcomed, and I got an invite back to their party afterwards.

During the service, I felt somehow something was missing. Now I've had a few hours' sleep after the party I've just realised. We should have somehow involved the baby.

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  1. They ruined old English when they added support for templates.

  2. I'm trying to discern what "Old English" means. Does it mean language spoken in 1558 or 1662, or is just spoken by those over 55?

    The King James Version is supposed to be traditional english as is the Prayer Book, but I can understand them and wonder why so many Clergy are nervous of the format and find the it difficult to get to grips with the language as one curate filling in for our vacancy has discovered. He reads if slowly and articulates clearly, marking every punctuation mark with a pause. This has clearly offended our loyal congregation who are used to the services being delivered by experts clergy or readers swiftly, without a sermon so that they can be back in the pub within 20 minutes.

    Mind you, last Thursday, he forgot the Creed, which drew a few pursed lips and tut tuts, his excuse was that having read the rubrics, it is optional mid-week? We pointed out that reading the rubrics was our job to allow critical judgement of performance of visiting Clergy and for us to proffer appropriate advice in a crown around him after the blessing.

    He says that being attacked by "Octogenerian" audiences were not expected having given us a performance worthy of Shakespeare.

    We won't ask him again.


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