Dropping the Ash Bomb

It's been quite a morning. I was inspired by the Anglicans offering "ashes to go" for people who can't be found in church. But I was concerned that, like people intincting (dipping the communion bread, their fingertips, millions of viruses and under-nail dirt into communion wine), ashing lots of passing strangers might be an effective method of spreading disease.

Hence Young Keith's invention of the "ash drone". Which can ash a small town in a matter of minutes without the need to go within 100 yards of anyone at all. Efficient, profound (as a symbol of death falls literally from the skies) and, according to Thames Valley Police, something we must never do again in their manor. We are now the only religious movement to be banned from an area of Milton Keynes since John Wesley was thrown across the Ouse into Northamptonshire by a Stony Stratford mob.

At the "lessons learned" meeting afterwards we've agreed. Next year's forcible ashing we're going with the customized fire extinguishers.