50 Reasons Why the Church of England is Declining

This church is always open

I  always say there's no such thing as church decline. Only negative growth. That
way it just sounds like a natural variation, rather than a freefall. And the Church of England does it as well. Redefines things to sound better, I mean. Not decline. Though yes, also decline. So they go with"Statistics for Mission". Or, to put it another way, "Statistics for how badly mission is going." And of course, with the Church of England, the term gives everyone the chance to start to argue about what they mean by "mission". In a very real sense.

And so, with the turning of the years, the Church of England Statistics for Mission are in and David Keen at Opinionated Vicar has the annual job of  telling us how bad they are. But why?

I mean, not the right answers. Which answers can you give that reassure yourself that it's all somebody else's fault?

Here's the Beaker List of Reasons why the Church of England is Declining. Normally I'd knock up a bit of Javascript or do a Bingo Card. But I can't be bothered. So instead... feel free to choose your own. Then find someone else on Twitter who thinks it's another one. And let Armageddon commence.

1. Tolerance of gay People
2. Intolerance of gay People
3. Women priests
   
4. Informality
5. Vicars arguing on Twitter 
6. The Permissive Society
   
7. Too much old-fashioned liturgy 
8. Using the Book of Common Prayer
   
9. Lack of equality for women
10. The loss of belief after the First World War
    
11. Irrelevant
12. Too cold
13. Too old
14. Too mouldy
15. No incense
16. No interest
17. Guitars
    
18. Kids playing football on Sundays
19. Telly
20. The Internet
21. The electric telegraph
22. It all went wrong after William Temple
23. It all went wrong with William Temple
    
24. Safeguarding failures
25. Overbearing safeguarding rules
26. Quentin Letts
27. Too left-wing
28. Too much Establishment
29. No loos
30. Vicar got loos installed - ruined the architecture
31. Great-aunt Angie had a row with the vicar in 1963
    
32. Bunch of Trots 
33. Tory Party at Prayer
    
34. Too woke
35. Too asleep
    
36. Church acts like God doesn't exist
37. Church acts like God does exist
38. God doesn't exist
39. No belief in the Bible
40. Bible-bashing fundamentalists
41. Doesn't look a thing like Jesus
42. Vicar talks like a gentleman
    
43. Evanjellycals* 
44. Smells funny
    
45. Always after money
46. Always after food bank donations
47. Control freaky vicars
48. No strong leadership
49. It's all a bit odd 
50. Silly blogs
    

*Would any grown-up use such a silly term? I can only apologise. Don't know what made me think of it

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