Tuesday, 6 October 2020

The Miraculous Healing of Trump

On the third day after he had gone into hospital (or, as Dr Conley put it, after 72 hours), after he had miraculously recovered from the illness that had laid him low, Trump appeared to his believers in a motorcade. And he declared to them, "Behold for I have conquered the flu! You need not fear, little ones. Apart from the few that are unfortunately no longer with us. And they have passed beyond fear."

And the well-meaning people that did not believe in Trump asked themselves, "What can we say? Or what are we to think? We didn't wish death upon him. But we do kind of wish he'd been ill a bit longer. Not ill ill. Just - you know - enough to set an example to his followers." Then they felt bad about their thoughts and went off to think hard about their true feelings for a few weeks.

And the wise said to them, "if 200,000 dying has not convinced them, will one old man staying in hospital longer cause them to repent?"

 And those that hated Trump said to themselves, "The drugs are messing with his brain. Behold he labours to breathe. Was not Herod eaten by worms? He'll be back in before you know it."

 And his believers said to themselves , "What miracles have been wrought among us? For he was as dead to us - we thought he was a loser. And yet he has won bigly! He was like unto us - except with the best medical treatment in the world. Truly it is a miracle." And they cast of their masks. But some died, as the plague still spread among the 'Mericans.

And so the people of 'Merica were troubled among themselves. But Trump took in a deep breath, and felt the pain in his ribs, and hoped it came off. Not the mask, the risk.

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  1. Is this a verbatim report from the Southern Baptists?

  2. Mr Trump stinks as far as I am concerned. His actions in recent days are a stunt, which has passed on the virus to a whole host of his supporters, and the White House refuses to help with track and trace. I don't wish him ill, but had hoped for a bit of modest repentance, which he patently has not got. The joke is on all of those who voted for him in 2016.

  3. How can anyone fail to admire the 'courage' and 'true leadership' of this almighty buffoon? Surely taking off his mask and spreading the wisdom of his words can only benefit his devoted followers (that is, the few who do not catch the plague from his actions).
    One can only hold what little breath is left and wait for his next miracle.


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