Thursday 19 November 2020

Better Names for de Montfort University

Back in the day, there were universities and polytechnics. But then all the polytechnics became universities, and had to come up with exciting new names. Luton College became Luton University and eventually (in a bid to cover its traces) the University of Bedfordshire. Whereas some of them went for association themselves with famous people. Anglia Ruskin University, for example.And Leicester Polytechnic renamed intself de Montfort University.

An interesting choice of name. I mean, in the middle ages, some of the Oxford and Cambridge colleges and other such institutions ended up named after some unsavoury characters. I don't mean Jesus, or St John. I mean like my own, "King's Hall and College of Brasenose", where the king concerned was presumably Henry VIII. Albeit he was a bright young kingling when Braseonse was founded so nobody knew the horrors to come.

But Simon de Montfort is quite another matter. We all know what he was. A mass-murdering, anti-semitic rebel, who made himself king in all but name, and massacred the Jews. And ultimately he ended in utter failure Makes you wonder why anyone would ever have thought him a good idea.

And now the students union have very sensibly decided that maybe the university could be named after a more suitable candidate. Needless to say, the comments below the Leicester News article are mostly decrying the suggestion for "wokery", "snowflakes", and "rewriting history". And we could discuss the fact that "rewriting history" is basically "history". But I dont think anyone's suggesting rewriting history here. They knew what he was like when they named the place after him. And let's face it, it was well known in the 13th century that de Montfort was an anti-semite and a failure. He ended up dying in battle. His head was chopped off, his testicles arranged around his nose, and then sent as a gift to Roger Mortimer's wife. Which I suppose solved the problem of what to give her for Xmas. But gives you weird ideas of what they could have used for the university's logo.

 But the real irony is that the people complaining about the suggested renaming are almost certainly supporters of Brexit. And Simon de Montfort was the absolute epitome of an unelected European bureacrat, coming over here and changing our laws without our say so. And while he did put together the prototype of a House of Commons, he did so in a desperate attempt to shore up his support, while coincidentally funneling money into his own accounts.

So time to rename the place. To help the good people of Leicester, here are some suggestions that would all be better than "de Montfort" to precede "University":

  1. Richard Attenborough
  2. Graham Chapman 
  3. Sue Townsend
  4. Thomas Cook
  5. Arthur Russell Wallace
  6. Lady Jane Grey
  7. Henry Bragg
  8. Errol Christie
  9. Gary Lineker
  10. David Gower
  11. Showaddywadd
  12. Caroline Ashurst Briggs
  13. Emile Hesketh
  14. Not the other Leicester
  15. Bill Maynard
  16. Una Stubbs
  17. David Icke*
  18. Gok Wan
  19. Cornershop
  20. Englebert Humperdinck**
  21. Walkers Crisps
  22. Martin Corry
  23. Willie Thorne
  24. Richard III ***
  25. Syd Lucas
  26. Peter Shilton
  27. Colin Hall **** 
  28. Dunelm Mill ***** 
  29. Joseph Merrick
  30. Pukka Pies

* be popular with some of the people complaining, at any rate

** the singer, not the composer

*** the cathedral seems quite fond of him

**** only mayor of Leicester whose trousers fell down at a public event

***** just to upset Durham, really


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12 comments :

  1. Why Richard Attenborough but not David? Both grew up in Leicester. I understand that they might prefer someone dead, but there are others alive on the list.

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  2. Why Richard Attenborough but not David? Both grew up in Leicester. I understand that they might prefer someone dead, but there are others alive on the list.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here in Essex, Anglia Ruskin University is usually known as Teddy Ruxpin University. If you're too young to remember that, look it up!

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  4. When it was re-named the Grauniad always referred to it as De Mented. Seems appropriate.

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  5. I worked at UMIST during the period when they were (re-)joining the University of Manchester (or to be pedantic Owens University). In the Maths Common Room the conversation over coffee turned to a choice of name for the new institution. For some reason, my suggestion of Manchester United University didn't go down well with the Head of Department. I still think it would have been a good one for putting the university on the map.

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  6. I suppose there are other Simon de Montforts; maybe it is one of those who it is named after? Like his dad I guess? That one only lef a crusade that devastated the south of France by having as its target tbe er, well south of France, and masacred tens of thousands while burning Cathars for heresy. At least "Kill them all; God will know his own" makes a fine motto? ;)

    Yes good call. So far my favourite is Red Leicester, presumably nibbled on in the logo by a wee group of Ratae. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I suppose there are other Simon de Montforts; maybe it is one of those who it is named after? Like his dad I guess? That one only lef a crusade that devastated the south of France by having as its target tbe er, well south of France, and masacred tens of thousands while burning Cathars for heresy. At least "Kill them all; God will know his own" makes a fine motto? ;)

    Yes good call. So far my favourite is Red Leicester, presumably nibbled on in the logo by a wee group of Ratae. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I suppose there are other Simon de Montforts; maybe it is one of those who it is named after? Like his dad I guess? That one only lef a crusade that devastated the south of France by having as its target tbe er, well south of France, and masacred tens of thousands while burning Cathars for heresy. At least "Kill them all; God will know his own" makes a fine motto? ;)

    Yes good call. So far my favourite is Red Leicester, presumably nibbled on in the logo by a wee group of Ratae. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Arthur Russell Wallace?
    Alfred's brother, presumably.

    ReplyDelete

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