Wednesday 17 March 2021

Zoom and Tea Lights

 I'd like to apologise for the certain amount of chaos that broke out during today's Filling up of Beakers on Zoom. 

The first issue was during the "Howling at the New Moon" when my PC decided to install updates. I thought it had finished, but it turned out that as a result of some kind of driver clash, I got the sound back but no picture. And that's not much use in such a visual service as Filling up of Beakers. I mean, if all you're getting is the sound of flowing liquid and no visuals, you might be thinking it's like that time Burton Dasset accidentally pocket-dialled the conference call number from the toilet, when we were holding the "Over 90s Quite Bright Half-Hour". That was a terrible time.

Set them all off, as well. It was nearly three hours by the time we got everyone back together.

So I knew I needed the video. So I got the session up again using my phone. But then I got feedback. So I switched the PC off. Only the PC was the host. So I had to boot it up again. And this time I had the video but no sound. 

At which point, Grendel the Community Cat, angry at being ignored, started knocking the left over palm leaves from last year's cancelled Palm Sunday craft activity off the top shelf. Falling beautifully onto the ring of tea lights on the hearth. So I jumped over to stamp the palm leaves out when they caught fire.

As the free Zoom 40 minutes expired, I am aware that the visuals weren't great. All that any Beaker Folk could see was me, with my fluffy "Brian from Family Guy" slippers on fire, surrounded by burning palm leaves. Screaming silently while Young Keith and Charlii threw beakers full of water over me. 

It was truly the most urgent Filling up of Beakers we've ever held.

But maybe not the most spiritually fulfilling.


  1. Sounds like the time when at Mass as an Altar Server, I allowed my candle to lean forward a bit and set fire to the hair of the server in front of me in the procession. Chaos ensued as I attempted to firmly slap his hair to put out the flame's while he was screaming and the smell of his burnt hair filled the church. The Priest following us tut, tutted us, muttering about the loss of dignity. But it all got through as someone lifted the Holy Water stoup and poured it over the poor boy. He went through the rest of the mass, looking a bit despondent. I got into trouble for that with the Sr of Mercy supposedly supervising us, and little mercy was shown. The fight between us when we got out of church was ugly, as I laughed at his burnt locks. Memories of a former 7 year old.

  2. The cat's called Grendel. I never knew


Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl