Monday, 19 July 2021

Liturgy of Joy for Freedom Day

Hymn: Bells they Aren't Ringing, Children aren't Singing

Archdruid: Let us give thanks that this pandemic is suddenly over this Freedom Day. Let bells ring out and let little children sing.

Charlii: Little children aren't singing. Bubble's burst.

Archdruid: Then let adults sing out loud in the stifling heat of the Moot House!

All:  Let's not, but let's  keep our masks instead.

Archdruid: So no singing in the Moot House?

All: Beaker Quire can sing.

Archdruid: I'd banned them before the pandemic.

The Cautious Beaker People: If you're singing in the Moot House, can we have a separate service?

The More Cautious Beaker People: Outside?

The Even More Cautious Beaker People: In a separate field each?

Archdruid: Maybe the stones could cry out?

Stones: We're isolating.

Song: She's Coming Home, Katie Hopkins is coming home.

Archdruid: As if it's not bad enough, there's the danger of Hopkins standing naked in doorways. Still, at least Chester Cathedral bells are ringing out.

Chester Cathedral: No, they're not.

James Delingpole: It's freedom day! 

Laurence "Quite Good in Lewis" Fox: We're off to Spoons to lick the bar like normal men of the people! 

Servicing staff: Same as last week you mean? Good grief.

Delingpole: Got your camo jacket Loz?

Hathaway: Too right, Della! Makes me look so tough!

Boris Johnson (via video link): On this Freedom Day it gives me pleasure to announce that I'll be self-isolating in a massive house and garden out in the country. I apologise for the state of my hair, but I'm also in isolation from my comb. 

Archdruid: And now we silently sing the hymn from the screen, "You're not singing any more."

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