Saturday, 21 December 2019

Dry Out, Solstice Bells

Archdruid: The sun rises before the darkest day.

All: Well I can't see it...

Archdruid: Have faith, little ones.

All: Like you told us we wouldn't need coats?

Archdruid: Truly I tell you, if you had faith as much as a raindrop the clouds would break and the solstice sun would reveal itself in all its glory.

All: Where's your faith then? Archdruid, prove thyself.

Archdruid: Frankly it's being dragged back by yours. 

All: And also with you!

Archdruid: Now ring out, wild solstice bells!

Hnaef: They won't. The clappers have rusted in all the rain.

Archdruid: Any alternatives?

Hnaef: We brought the kazoos and vuvuzelas.

Archdruid: Then ring out, wild solstice kazoos and vuvuzelas!

Hnaef: Or is it vuvuzelae?

Archdruid: Who cares? Just give us one verse of "You'll Never Walk Alone" and we can get in the dry.

Charlii: Hang on! I just checked and it's Solstice tomorrow.

Archdruid: Ah. OK, see you at 4 for a repeat of the "Solstice Sunset" ritual.

Wednesday, 18 December 2019

In Memoriam, Kirsty MacColl (2000)

A song drifts along from a bar where a jukebox plays
And triggers the memory of happier summer days
Drive to the beach, sun on the water
Love was in reach and you never saw that
The sun was sinking and love was fading away.




Tuesday, 17 December 2019

Needing a Wee on the First Day of the Week

Imagine the situation. You're a minister, in your riper years (as many of us are) and your ability to get between rest-stops isn't as great as it used to be. Or you may not be in your riper years, but you have other reasons why 5 hours on the road out of sight of a loo ain't a great idea.

But God and the Church of England, in their infinite jest, have decided that you shall minister at 7 churches, over an area of 100 square miles, none of which have a loo. And no matter how determined you've been in pruning the worship rota, you're still going to have an 8am, 9.30am and 11am service at three of your churches each Sunday.

And you'll love having Evensong. Because that's just the one. And you can go before you.... go.

But in the morning, sure you can get an early pit-stop in at 7.30. But then you'll be on the go (so to speak) until around about 12.30. And nature is inexorable and human flesh is weak.

So here's the hints.
  1. First up - make sure that in any benefice you take on, your parsonage is roughly in the middle. This means you can, time permitting, race into the house and back on your way between gigs. Depending on the precise reasons you may need to get to some facilities in a hurry, this may be a must-have. 
  2. Ideally, discuss with the bishop whether you can trade the vicarage in for a motor caravan. It's much better for maintaining a presence in each parish, you can take your loo with you, and in the unlikely event you get a weekend off, you can go to Somerset.
  3. Find out whether there are any public-spirited parishioners who are happy to offer their facilities as a rest stop.
  4. Then ensure they tell you when they're away. You don't want to be caught out.
  5. Avoid highly spiced food on Saturday nights. Or this whole blog post could be far more nightmarish.
  6. Keep the sermons short and the post-service mingling likewise, to enhance the possibilities of number 1 (so to speak)
  7. Refuse all offers of cups of tea, coffee or other beverages. Biscuits are OK. And if you're on the last leg, then whatever you like.
  8. There's a reason why churchyards have so many yew trees. And it's got nothing to do pagan mysteries. All that evergreen foliage can be mighty handy as a screen in extremis.
  9. Going in a churchyard, no matter how planted with yew trees, is not easy with an arthritic hip.
  10. Also, people get grumpy if you've just relieved yourself on Uncle Arnold.  Whether he's a long-term inhabitant of the graveyard, so to speak, or he's just sunning himself. So check the territory in advance.
  11. And watch out for newly-dug, not-yet-occupied, graves.
  12. There's one building project all clergy should embrace whole-heartedly. It's a loo in the bell tower.
  13. Or at least, surely, God's mercy and the treasurer's budget might stretch to a portaloo in the graveyard?
  14. Or a hole in some unconsecrated spot with a plank over it?
    Luxury
  15. I don't mean over the bell ringers, no matter how tempting you think that is.
  16. When you think about it - NASA managed to come up with a spacesuit that could cope with an astronaut meeting a call of nature in deep space. Surely Whipples could come up with something similar in a cassock alb.

Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Sunday, 15 December 2019

The Martyrdom of St Jeremy

Once in Islington there was a holy man called Jeremy. And as a young man, Jeremy wished he could run a whelk stall, or organise parties in breweries. But the local brewers and shellfish wholesalers doubted his abilities, and would not allow him access to their facilities. And so poor Jeremy gave all his belongings to the poor except  his shell suit, and ate a frugal diet of parsnips and home-made jam. And he spent much time talking to the friends of terrorists. Because Jeremy believed that he could bring everyone to live in peace.

But the time arose when there was a great dispute over who should be Pope. And the supporters of Jeremy said that he should be Pope because nobody was as wise, holy and miraculous as Jeremy. And the people had a great synod where everyone should choose who should be Pope. And Jeremy won the arguments. But nobody believed he should be Pope, except a few disciples. And Alexander de Pfeffel became Pope Boris I, and failed to live up to his vow of chastity, although he helped everyone else to achieve poverty.  Jeremy told everyone he was sorry they had not been able to understand his arguments, and eat the fruit of his magic money tree, but although he took responsibility, none of it was his fault. And so Jeremy retreated to the desert allotment. While some of Jeremy's followers said that everyone else was too stupid to understand St Jeremy's teaching.

But his disciples marvelled at Jeremy's holiness. "Surely he is like St Francis of Assisi, or even Chairman Mao" they said. "Behold his miraculous ability to sit on the floor in trains that have vacant seats." While others said "who else has won so many peace prizes that nobody has ever heard of?"

And his disciples schemed to see who should succeed Jeremy - whether it should be Dianne the Abbot, or Rebecca of the Long Bailey. And everyone knew that the only one who would be any use would be Jess of Birmingham. But they feared she might have a mind of her own. And if the next Pope were to be a woman, they wanted one they could keep under control.

 But Jeremy did not worry. He sat under his fig tree, and made chutney, and wondered at his own righteousness, all the rest of his life.

And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth. But not in the more comfortable parts of Islington.


Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Saturday, 14 December 2019

Ritual of Lighting the Pink Advent Candle

Archdruid: The sun sets.
3 lilac? We've no idea

All: The moon rises.

Archdruid: Like the golden yin

All: And the silver yang.

Archdruid: On this Eve of Gaudete Sunday...

Steeleye Span: Gaudete, Gaudete... 

Hnaef: Can someone please shut the Steeleye Span cupboard?

Maddy Prior: No! Don't shut us back in the.... <slam>

Archdruid: We light the pink third candle.

All: Ahhh! Pink for Mary.

Archdruid: No, not for Mary.

All: Yeah, because she's a girl.

Archdruid: Did you miss the full explanation?

All: Yes. But we don't like it so it's not true.

Archdruid: Do you really think that's how truth works?

All: If you're asking us whether we think that, then clearly it does...

Archdruid: Pink is not for Mary. Even if she was a girl. Pink is for...

Hnaef: Luke?

Charlii: The Angels?

Daphne: Paul on his scooter?

Young Keith: Beeping his hooter?

Little Pebbles: The donkey?

Stacey Bushes: Gin?

Burton Dasset: John Wesley?

Chesney Wold: Famine?

Archdruid: No. Pink is for John the Baptist.

All: JOHN THE BAPTIST? Why's he get pink?

Archdruid: Nah, forget it. Let's go for Mary shall we?

All: Yeah, because she's a girl.

Person who knows what they're talking about: Actually, I think you'll find it's called rose.

Steeleye Span: All Around My Hat....

All: SHUT THAT CUPBOARD DOOR!


Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Friday, 13 December 2019

You Say Posada

Apologies to those who were upset at what happened when the Posada was handed over yesterday evening.

The ritual every year since time immemorial (2017) is that the Posada - a set of figures carved from coconut shells in the Aztec tradition - is passed from each resident Beaker Family to the next, at 8pm on the nights in Advent.

Last night, it seems that Hargnett had been at the Pina Colada in expectation of receiving the Posada. But became confused and assumed he had to treat it like a PiƱata. 

The sight of an overwrought bloke attacking statues of saints with a large stick hasn't been seen since Cromwell's men arrived to suppress idolatry. And a lot of children were very upset.

Unfortunately, due to Brexit it seems it's not as easy as it was to get Aztec coconut carvers at short notice. So the Beaker Knitting Circle are currently purling as fast as they can to get a new Posada ready for tonight's handover. When someone other than Hargnett (who's currently locked in the Doily Shed charged with heresy and iconoclasm) will be handing it over to Ragnalf and her family. 

Ah, the peaceful Advent days! When we meditate on the things to come. And cut our bare feet on pieces of shattered coconut that formerly represented holy people. 


Please note supper will be limited tonight as we've found Jacob Rees Mogg hiding in the freezer.  We need to thaw him out as apparently he's wanted again. Although not by us. 

And Hargnett still wants to know where his sweets are.


Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Wednesday, 11 December 2019

Order for the Interring of a Prime Minister in a Fridge

HYMN: "VIEW FROM A FRIDGE"

Archdruid: Dearly beloved, we gather here to mark this solemn rite. The insertion of a Prime Minister into a fridge.

All: We bet it's not even the first time he's had to hide in an item of household furniture.

Archdruid: And we don't even need to mention that he's been doing a milk round.

All: This stuff writes itself. 

Archdruid: Man that is born of woman is not necessarily one of Boris Johnson's illegitimate offspring.

All: But there's always that chance.

Archdruid: And so it is that Boris Johnson, faced with a stressful experience, reverted to his deepest instincts.

All: And called upon the mountains to fall upon him.

Archdruid: But being there were no mountains handy 

All: He jumped in a fridge instead.

Archdruid: All men are as grass.

All: Which lieth all around.

Archdruid: They are as a puff of smoke

All: Which gets in your eyes, stinks and is really irritating.

Archdruid: And we know the next PM will have to stand up to Putin, the EU and Trump.

All: So lucky we've got someone who knows where his fridge is. 

Archdruid: And so we join in the sacred chant.

All: Come out, Boris! We know where you're hiding!

HYMN: Love Theme from the Fridges of Madison County

Tuesday, 10 December 2019

Beaker Folk Prayer for the General Election

Oh God, we pray for the General Election and that through it your will be done.

Albeit we're a bit concerned that if we explicitly associate your will with the results of the election, there's kind of an impression given that the winners have God on their side.

Which given the potential leaders we're looking at currently seems, frankly, a bit worrying. We mean, we know you've worked through Cyrus, Potiphar's wife, Joseph's brothers selling him into slavery and a talking donkey. But, you know, that was back in Biblical times when it was all a lot simpler.

And we're a bit worried that if we say your will is equivalent to the results of a democratic election, then it's arguable your will made a right mess of it in 2015, 2016 and 2017. Not to take party political sides, but we've not been a terribly high-performing country after any of those votes. Was that your will?

As if it was, we can only conclude that in fact your will is to punish us for something. Maybe the Empire, or making hot pants trendy in the 60s, or Strictly Come Dancing. Don't get us wrong, we can understand the punishment is deeply appropriate. But shorter and sharper would probably be better than this slow death by lies and fantasy we've been going through lately. Just a plague of frogs, maybe?

Votes without end

Amen


Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Sunday, 8 December 2019

Prepare the Way

"This was the man spoken of by the prophet Isaiah when he said: A voice of one that cries in the desert, 'Prepare a way for the Lord, make his paths straight.'" Matthew, 3 - Bíblia Católica Online

Solstice sunrise over Cranfield airfield

Words are powerful things, but slippery. They're ambiguous, imprecise, can carry multiple meanings. Which is why it takes a certain kind of brain to be a computer programmer. If you're the sort of person that says, "but that's not what I meant to say", who likes to use language that is powerful but ambiguous, which if taken the "wrong" way, can do terrible harm - try not to be a programmer. Go for Prime Minister instead. If you're wanting to be a politician you can say all sorts of things which can mean terrible stuff, but claim that all along you were quoted out of context, or meant something different. If you're a computer programmer your language means just what it says - regardless of what you meant. Computers aren't impressed that you went to Eton, or spend your spare time at the allotment. And if you've ever had to deal with a whole evening of Burton Dasset telling you about the time he spent a month looking for a full stop in the wrong place in a Cobol program in an accounts payable package, you'll know exactly what I mean.

But real human language - as opposed to that used by programmers - isn't like that. It's nuanced, it lives in context. It has a background, a genre, a sub-text. You have to know what you're dealing with. As Paul Merton said about reading the telephone directory (and I'm glad I can count on half my readership knowing what a telephone directory is,  still): the plot's terrible. But the people - they seem so real! Which is why reading human language - especially something as multi-layered as the Bible - is not something we should do like we're computers, following the apparently obvious instructions in front of us.

All of which thoughts, in reference to the Bible passage above, come out of the most controversial tweet of the week in Christian Twitter, from Miranda Threlfall-Jones. Asked to give her most controversial liturgical opinion she tweeted:
I mean, obviously she's right. It was controversial. And she's right that we need to stop and think about what we're doing with these words. There's good reasons we can't just use them without reflecting what the words mean in our language - and what they're trying to grasp for. But she got a lot of abuse and was accused, among other things, of heresy and idolizing feminism. But let's look at the word "Lord", for Jesus or God.

"Lord" in the Bible is an interesting word. Or words. The Greek word is Kurios. Which in Greek can equate to the English words "lord", "master" or even, in the sort of phrase Alf Garnett would have used, "head of the household". The English word of course means "male member of the nobility", and is only used in this context by people who don't actually live on the Woburn or Althorp estates by people referring to the House of Lords. A chamber of government populated in England by some people we didn't vote for, many of whom are actually experts in their fields, but some of  whom are simply the friends of current or former Prime Ministers.

So far so obvious. It appears that Matthew is telling us that the Lord of the Manor is coming back to pay a visit. And that's certainly a reasonable analogy. One Jesus does use himself. Consider Jesus's parable about the ruler going away on a long journey.

Albeit worth remembering that, in days gone by in Great Brington and surrounding villages, it was Raine Spencer who is remembered as having wielded the real power in the Althorp estate. But is it problematic, the idea of Jesus as a ruler who will come back, put things to right and deal dreadfully with his enemies? I guess it depends who you think God's enemies are. If you're the american or English middle class, sitting comfortably, you're going to be thinking God will be dealing with those who don't behave in your particular way. People who put their milk in the tea first, or call their kids after favourite lager brand or something. If you're the First Century Church, running into hiding places as the other one who calls himself "Lord", who has power over life and death in the here and now hunts you down and demands you swear allegiance - you might have a different idea of how God's Lordship will sort things out. The Book of Revelation sounds terrifying unless you're on the bottom of the pile.

The early Church took the term "Lord" and applied it,  not to Herod - the kingling whose power ultimately depended totally on Caesar - not to Caesar, whose power he claimed came from God but who so often actually derived power from a fragile truce with his own army. The Church gave the term to a refugee baby, to a crucified man. Against the power base of the Roman Empire, the Church said real lordship lies with the homeless and dispossessed.

But - and this is why the Bible is many-layered - that's the Greek word we use for "Lord". John the Baptist almost certainly wasn't speaking Greek out in the desert. And the phrase that Matthew quotes from Isaiah definitely wasn't written in Greek. It was in Hebrew. And there are a number of Hebrew words that you can translate as "lord".

"Baal", for instance. Which is normally left untranslated in English translations. Because it became the name of a god of the tribes the Israelites fought against. And it would be confusing to translate as "the lord", particularly when Elijah's in that miracle fight with the prophets of Baal.   Then the Hebrew word "adonai" - meaning "sir" or "my lord" - as you might refer to the boss or the squire. And that's used about God as well, and Jewish people would say it when referring to God rather than use the holy name of God - which is the word that Isaiah actually does use - the one Bible scholars write as YHWH, and the New Jerusalem transcribes as Yahweh, and the Jehovah's Witnesses write as Jehovah and claim is God's real name though it's not because we don't know what the vowels should be.

But that other word we translate as "The Lord" (with little caps in many Bibles) isn't about land ownership or feudalism or who's the boss in the same way. It's more about God as being - it's a derivative of the verb "to be". It's why God can be referred to as the "I am". Why when Jesus says, "Before Abraham was, I am" (John 8:58), he nearly suffers a stoning. John the Baptist isn't paving the way for a super-charged land-owner. John is anticipating that the very one who writes the words of the world's story is going to be turning up.

This is way beyond emperors, Pharaohs, kings and squires. This is the eternity of God in the space of one - short - human life. This is the one through whom and for whom everything was made, turning up on site.

And that concept is really hard to grasp - which is why I struggle to put things into human words, with my severely limited human imagination, even with this wonderfully flexible and powerful and slippery thing, the English language - which is why we are limited down to words like "king" and "lord". And "shepherd" and "servant" and "father", "mother hen", "creator" and "saviour".   Each one is a word that tells a facet of God, each an image - and we know what happens when we take an image and make it represent the whole of God.

That first Advent is when the architect and builder of the universe becomes part of the building materials, made up of the stuff that God first made, subject to its physical limitations - but also of infinite love and creativity. In a world of petty kings and short-lived emperors, God is revealed as the child of a beaten-down nation, a refugee, a prisoner and a condemned criminal.

We remember his coming, at this darkest time of year in our Northern latitudes, as the spark of hope in despair, the first glint of light in the darkness. And prepare for when Jesus comes again - and the broken-down, yet so beautiful world we inhabit is caught up forever into the wonder of the God who came down so far for us.





Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

Advent Candles Explained

Congratulations to Skaldwell, whose arrangement won this year's Advent Candle prize.

It's certainly generated a lot of strong reactions. But I don't think that anyone can doubt that "The Pointlessness of Hope in a Decaying World" is a powerful statement.

A scattered arrangement of burnt-down and crushed tea lights
The Pointlessness of Hope in a Decaying World

The astonishing Fegus Butler-Gallie, a cleric whom all should follow on Twitter, has come up with a wonderful thread of tweets on the subject of Advent Candles.  But left people asking - what actually is the significance given to each of the candles?

Well, obviously in an ordinary Advent ring, there's the big white one in the middle that actually represents Christmas itself. But the other four have very specific meanings.

Sometimes there will be four red candles (this one is under construction).


In this case, as in all Advent rings, the clues are in the iconography of the colours. The red represents Liverpool, and the four candles represent the "4 lads of Liverpool" from the old hymn: John in a taxi, George in a car. Paul on his scooter, beeping his hooter, following Ringo Star.

Sometimes however the candles will be 3 purple and one pink. Please don't go thinking the pink one is for Mary, and should be lit on the fourth Sunday in Advent because that's her Sunday. No, the candles stand for each of the four Sundays in Advent and represent, as follows:

1. The Sunday when everybody wonders why we're not singing Christmas carols yet. But maybe that's because it's in the Octave of Black Friday and you need a nice purple candle to stand for not as black as Friday, but still a long way to the white one. But surely "Away in a Manger" wouldn't be out of place? And the vicar does the 4 Candles joke from the Two Ronnies but nobody under 50 understands it but that doesn't matter because apart from little Scirocco, who's there with her gran, there's nobody under 50 in the church. But then someone points out there's five candles anyway. And that falls as flat as a counter-tenor on a day of above-average humidity.

2. The Sunday when everyone thinks "does she know it's Christmas", as the vicar's picked a load of stuff about John the Baptist for no apparent reason and isn't that next week? Or maybe last week? Does anyone know why the readings don't match the Collect, only the latter's all about the Bible and what's that got to do with Christmas anyway? And the quire's asking why are there no bars in the music for O Come O Come Immanuel? And the organist doesn't care because he plays it in a minor key in 11/8 time because that was a thing he saw on Youtube.

3. The Sunday when it's the Nativity and in the evening it's the Church Carol Service and why are we still going on about John the Baptist? Surely he should be in the New Year some time when it's all about repentance and Jesus going out into the wilderness? Traditionally the Sunday when the vicar lights the pink candle and everybody says you can't because pink stands for Mary because she's a girl and that's next week. Or possibly last week. Or is it Matthew, Mark, Luke and John? Or is that the names of the Bootleg Beatles? And is it this week or last week for the jumpers where Santa's nose glows? Only St Luke wasn't clear.

4. The Sunday when even the vicar's given up and picked some Christmas carols and there's not many people at Church because it's not long till Christmas Day so you've got to go and do some physical shopping. And the vicar lights the fourth candle and everybody says can you light the white one, only we'll be away over Christmas so we never see that one lit till it's all burned down in January and we're saying can we get rid of the crib and someone's saying YOU CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S GOT TO STAY TILL FEBRUARY BECAUSE CANDLEMASS. And everyone's going the tree will never last that long. It's already gone brown and the needles have fallen off because the Brownies insisted we had to hold the Christmas Tree Festival in November, at the same time as the Scarecrow Festival, because that's when people like to come to church - when they're feeling all Christmassy. And then the bare, dried out tree gets too near the five candles dancing in a ring and everyone legs it out and calls the fire brigade.

And that's what the four candles of the Advent Ring are all about.


Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

Monday, 2 December 2019

Advent Imagined and Advent As It Is


Advent ImaginedAdvent As It Is
Gazing at the sunriseGazing at Amazon
O Come, O Come ImmanuelStep into Xmas
A quiet meditationTurkey and Tinsel
The Four Last ThingsThe 5th Works Do
A chapter of Luke Each DayRetweeting a meme about Boris Johnson and the rear end of a donkey
Looking meaningfully at the darkling skyScreaming inside in Morrisons
And is it true?Which present isn't too dodgy for the Secret Santa?
How will the end be?The dog's eaten the tinsel
Making space for thoughtWhat rough beast, its hour come at last, slouches to the Rose and Crown?
Repentance and FastingFear and Loathing
"I am coming soon"Next-day delivery
Walking around a lake in the gathering gloom, imagining how our ancestors would have gathered themselves around the fire.Defrosting the car prior to a 100 mile trip to see an uncle who hates you
A Spaceman came travellingA woman unravelling
"O" AntiphonsOh what now?
The deep past, when ploughing was over for the year and all there was to do was wait until spring.The present day, when you still have to go to work till Xmas Eve even though you mentally checked out in November
A Time to ThinkMaking 104 Christingles
MindfulnessFretfulness


Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.