Saturday, 14 December 2019

Ritual of Lighting the Pink Advent Candle

Archdruid: The sun sets.
3 lilac? We've no idea

All: The moon rises.

Archdruid: Like the golden yin

All: And the silver yang.

Archdruid: On this Eve of Gaudete Sunday...

Steeleye Span: Gaudete, Gaudete... 

Hnaef: Can someone please shut the Steeleye Span cupboard?

Maddy Prior: No! Don't shut us back in the.... <slam>

Archdruid: We light the pink third candle.

All: Ahhh! Pink for Mary.

Archdruid: No, not for Mary.

All: Yeah, because she's a girl.

Archdruid: Did you miss the full explanation?

All: Yes. But we don't like it so it's not true.

Archdruid: Do you really think that's how truth works?

All: If you're asking us whether we think that, then clearly it does...

Archdruid: Pink is not for Mary. Even if she was a girl. Pink is for...

Hnaef: Luke?

Charlii: The Angels?

Daphne: Paul on his scooter?

Young Keith: Beeping his hooter?

Little Pebbles: The donkey?

Stacey Bushes: Gin?

Burton Dasset: John Wesley?

Chesney Wold: Famine?

Archdruid: No. Pink is for John the Baptist.

All: JOHN THE BAPTIST? Why's he get pink?

Archdruid: Nah, forget it. Let's go for Mary shall we?

All: Yeah, because she's a girl.

Person who knows what they're talking about: Actually, I think you'll find it's called rose.

Steeleye Span: All Around My Hat....


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If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.

1 comment :

  1. I note that when our shiny new Parish Priest (first Christmas with us) asked what Sunday it was he got a range of answers from Rose, Mary, John and Pink Floyd - which perhaps demonstrates the relative ages of the congregation, and one of the choir came up with Gaudete which he had picked up from Choir practice and actually remembers although his pronunciation left something to be desired, he sounded like "Den" from East Enders.


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